Join Betty De Generes and PFLAG In A New Safe-Schools Initiative: Care with PRIDE

PFLAG is proud to announce Care with PRIDE™, a new campaign—in partnership with the Johnson & Johnson Family of Consumer Companies and in association with Walgreens—to help support our important Cultivating Respect: Safe Schools for All Initiative and the work being done by PFLAG chapters in their communities. 

This multi-pronged campaign will help earn PFLAG a minimum of $200,000 to support our  work, including efforts in communities to work directly with schools providing support, resources, training, model policy and creative programs to create an environment of respect for all children. 

As part of the campaign, PFLAG mom Betty DeGeneres has created this special video to support the effort:

Feeling inspired? Then click here to visit the Care with PRIDE website and learn more about how YOU can get involved and help make schools safe, for ALL children

PFLAG National Response to President Obama’s Evolution on Marriage Equality

WASHINGTON, DC—PFLAG National (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)—the nation's original ally organization, and the largest grassroots-based non-profit for families, friends and allies of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people—issued the following statement regarding President Obama’s support of full marriage equality:

“Today, history was made. President Barack Obama took an historic step as the first American president in office to recognize the importance of the freedom to marry for ALL couples. He joins a majority of Americans who believe that everyone deserves the opportunity to create a loving, lasting and legal partnership—marriage—with the person they love, regardless of sexual orientation.

The President now understands what PFLAG has said for 40 years: that there is power in sharing personal stories and that, when we do, hearts and minds can truly change as we realize our shared values of love and commitment. The president has sent an important message to LGBT people, their parents, families, friends, and allies: that they are accepted for all that they are, that their enduring, loving relationships are the same as all others. 

For all of us at PFLAG who believe in the power of love and acceptance, the message the president sends to our LGBT children is loud and clear: You are loved. You are accepted. You are equal. 

We thank President Obama and welcome him to the PFLAG family.”

BREAKING: PFLAG National on North Carolina Passage of Amendment 1

WASHINGTON, DC—PFLAG National (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)—the nation's original ally organization, and the largest grassroots-based non-profit for families, friends and allies of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people—has issued the following statement regarding today’s vote to pass Amendment 1 in North Carolina.

“We at PFLAG National are frustrated and furious that discrimination has now been enshrined into the State Constitution in North Carolina. Discrimination in marriage equality was already the law of the land in North Carolina. Who will this amendment protect? Certainly not the thousands of families who live and work in the state that will now have further rights stripped away from them, leaving them unprotected in matters of healthcare, domestic violence, estate planning, tax benefits and more.  And certainly not businesses headquartered in the state, like our partners at Bank of America, Replacements, Ltd., Mitchell Gold – Bob Williams, which understand that discrimination in any form is bad for business. 

PFLAG National stands in solidarity with Equality North Carolina and the many coalition partners of Protect North Carolina Families to continue to educate every community across the state about why this kind of discrimination is wrong for all families and what we can do together to create the cultural change necessary to end discrimination against our LGBT loved ones.”

- Jody Huckaby, Executive Director of PFLAG National

"She Brings Honor to Our Family, and That is Good"

Our guest blogger today is Marsha Aizumi, mother of two children, Aiden and Stefen.  She is the author of Two Spirits, One Heart: A Mother, Her Transgender Son, and Their Journey to Love and Acceptance, due to be released by Magnus Books in September 2012.  She was recently elected to the PFLAG National Board of Directors.

New Years Day . . . a big holiday for Japanese families.  I am about twelve years old and excited to go to a relative’s home to eat all the special New Year’s foods, food symbolic of everyone’s hope for the year to come.   Black beans eaten for health, shrimp for longevity, sweet potatoes with chestnuts for wealth and financial success.   And our house has to be cleaned top to bottom, because my mom would say, “Your house will be as clean throughout the year as it is on New Year’s Day.”

Marsha's Maternal Grandmother

Now at our relative’s house, I am sitting around the table with my plate of health, wealth, longevity, and more wishes, listening to the adults talking about grandparents and ancestors long gone.  “We have a rich and highly respected family name,” the obvious patriarch of the group proudly declares.   “Only do things that will bring our family respect and honor.  Never bring shame to our name.”  My parents, aunts and uncles nod their head in agreement.

Marsha's Paternal Grandparents

Years later when my child came out as lesbian and later transitioned to male, I remember hearing that same voice saying, “Never bring shame to our family.”  For a while, this voice forced me into the closet, and I could not openly talk about my lesbian child. I was afraid that I would be judged a terrible mother who brought dishonor to her family.  But slowly through support from PFLAG, by reading  and increasing my awareness of what being LGBT meant, and through talking to other families, especially mothers, I realized I did nothing wrong.  My child was born this way and I had to make choice.  I chose to love my child.  When my daughter later transitioned to be my son, I would occasionally hear that voice talking about shame somewhere in the distance, but I was wiser, stronger, and less fearful now.

Marsha's Parents

In the end, I have decided to honor my family name by loving both of my children, by sharing our family’s journey, and by working hard to make this world safer for all LGBT individuals. I think my parents would be proud of the mother I am today and I truly believe that my ancestors are quietly shaking their heads in affirmation saying, “She brings honor to our family and that is good. ”

Murder of Transgender Woman in Oakland May Be Hate Crime

This weekend in Oakland, CA a 37-year-old transgender woman named Brandy Martell was murdered a block away from city hall. This tragic and brutal event took place early Sunday morning at 5:45 a.m. and has yet to be labeled a hate crime.  Ms. Martell was shot by two men who were allegedly having a conversation with her as she sat inside a car after their dialogue took an angry turn for the worse. Martell’s friends speculate that the men became violent once they learned of her gender identity.

“When you don’t provide a space in society for people who you think are the other or different, especially transgender women, especially transgender women of color, when you don’t provide spaces for them to be in a safe environment or a safe space, whether it’s socializing or services, this is what happens,” Martell’s friend Tiffany Woods told ABC7. Unfortunately, this story has not received wide-spread press coverage beyond local media.

Fortunately, some state and local legislators around the country are taking notice of this disturbing series of murders, and are working on crafting legislation to help address the lack of basic human rights protections for transgender people. For example, the New York’s General Assembly passed the Gender Expression Non-Discrimination Act (GENDA) with broad bipartisan support. The legislation, which would extend protections to transgender citizens in employment, public accommodations, housing and credit, and education, now advances to the State Senate. It will also add gender identity to the list of protected categories in the state’s hate crimes statute, which is critical to help investigate bias-motivated crimes similar to what occurred in Oakland earlier this week.

PFLAG National strongly condemns the alarming and disturbing trend of violent acts targeting transgender people, both here in America and across the globe. The Trans Murder Monitoring Project of Europe reported that an astounding 539 anti-transgender murders occurred in 42 countries between 2008 and 2011. This type of violence is an assault on all of our families and when unaddressed, puts tens of thousands of lives in danger each day. Many PFLAG chapters including those in smaller communities like Omaha, Nebraska, and larger communities like those in Chicago, Illinois are working with their local law enforcement leaders to help prevent these types of crime from occurring by starting dialogue, forming coalitions, and developing trainings for police staff. But this past weekend’s violence in Oakland only proves how much more work there is to be done, not only on the local front, but also on the state and federal level.

Take Action: We encourage you our members to assert leadership locally by forming strong and meaningful partnerships with local police leaders, building coalition with other social justice organizations, and educating your communities about how to cultivate safety for everyone, especially LGBT folks who are especially vulnerable to bias-motivated crimes. If you are a resident of New York please take a moment to register and attend the Empire State Pride Agenda’s May 8 LGBT Equality & Justice Day. The focus of the event will focus on building support for GENDA, and to encourage the State Senate to take action on this life saving legislation without delay.

Safe Schools Alliance Youth Committee Shares Message of Hope with “40-Year-Old” Self

The Illinois Safe Schools Alliance’s Youth Committee has created a short video called “Dear 40-Year-Old Me” in which the young students share their feelings about high school, coming out to their parents, and the future. “Dear 40-year-old me,” the students begin. “Do you remember high school? ...You went to a school that wasn’t used to people like you, wasn’t used to change, wasn’t used to people being different....high school was rough.”

“As the young people in this video share personal, raw anecdotes about their lives, a universal theme emerges: change is both possible and empowering,” says David Fisher of the Illinois Safe Schools Alliance. And these students have witnessed real change, first hand.

In 2010, the Illinois Safe Schools Alliance’s Youth Committee was involved in the passing of the Prevent School Violence Act. “You got to meet with the CEO of the Chicago Public Schools,” one young man reminded his 40-year-old self. “You helped create a toolkit that would inspire youth to change anti-bullying policies at their schools,” another student proudly expressed. As one girl smiled, she told her future self, “I bet you had something to do with that.”

The Youth Alliance’s emotional and honest video is one of hope, inspiration, and motivation for all youth who are struggling with their middle and high school years and want to get involved in making schools better for LGBT students. Not only does “it get better” in the future, it can get better today.

Department of Education Re-Launches Bully Prevention Site

On PFLAG National blog’s Policy Matters we recently posted a brief summary of the updated federal bully prevention site, StopBullying.gov. The newly revised website is a result of a partnership between the Department of Education, the Department of Health and Human Services, and the White House , and emphasizes how individuals can take action against bullying in their local schools and communities.

"Bullying is not just an education or health problem, it is a community problem," said Secretary Kathleen Sebelius of the Department of Health and Human Services. "We are committed to working together at the federal level to help communities, schools and families address it as a single problem."

This impressive and informative site provides information covering a wide range of topics, and even dedicates an entire section to “Bullying & LGBT Youth.” 

On their homepage you will find a variety of tools which you can use to learn about, understand, and help prevent bullying:

• How to recognize the warning signs of bullying and when to take action.
• Tips to prevent bullying before it start.
• How to implement strategies for intervention. 
• Ways to share your community’s resources, policies or strategies to prevent and address bullying Information on bullying laws in your state

An especially useful feature is the interactive map which allows you to view anti-bullying laws and policies by state. Here you can see what language is used in your state’s anti-bullying legislation, which groups are protected under the law, what key components are covered, and follow links which allow you to read each law for yourself.

Education Secretary Arne Duncan announced the re-launch of the site, and issued a strong statement against bullying: “Bullying can no longer be seen somehow as a normal rite of passage...voices from across the nation have started speaking out about bullying. I want to thank all of you for elevating bullying as an issue that must be addressed. But we all know talking about simply is not enough. We must work together, take action, and make things better.”