Coming Out Intersex

Anger doesn’t live under Darlene Harris’ skin anymore... It’s melting away — the same way bad memories do — along with the confusion she has carried from a rocky childhood in New York City’s housing projects to her life as an Atlanta police officer. She now knows why her voice is so deep, why she’s always been attracted to women, why she can grow a full beard.

Officer Darlene Harris, of the Atlanta Police Department, is intersex.

Intersex people are born with chromosomal anomalies or ambiguous genitalia. The medical term "hermaphrodite" has been used, but is not accepted by many intersex people. Medical professionals commonly assign a male or female gender to the individual and proceed to perform gender assignment surgeries beginning in infancy and often continuing into adolescence, before a child is able to give informed consent. Read more about intersexuality here. And read Officer Harris' story in The Atlanta Constitution-Journal.

For Officer Harris, discovering her intersexuality was the lifting of a great burden of misunderstanding about herself. “It was like, ‘OK, I’m not crazy,’ All of these things came together full circle at that moment. I now understood the reason why I am the way I am... It’s freedom, total freedom. It’s like I can fly.”

For further research and resource for and about the intersex community, be sure to check out the Intersex Society of North America.

GLBT Teens Blog

Our Field and Policy Coordinator, Brooke Smith, found and wanted to share this resource for gay teens:

Ellen's GLBT Teens Blog

The blog features articles geared for young people on topics ranging from dealing with homophobic parents to entertainment and current events. Says Brooke, "This blog answers questions for teens who are questioning their sexuality, want to come out, and have recently come out. It also covers recent news related to youth, such as the murder of Lawrence King. "

The First (and Only) Married Gay Couple in Iowa Celebrate 1-Year Mark

This time last year there was a small window of time between a Polk County (IA) judge's ruling and the filing of an appeal in which marriage equality was open in Iowa. And this is the extraordinary story of the one couple that managed to squeeze their marriage into that time frame and become Iowa's only (thus far) legally married same-sex couple.

Sean Fritz and Tim McQuillan, two men from Ames, became Iowa's first, and only, same-sex couple to marry before the judge's ruling was put on hold pending an appeal. Now the Iowa Supreme Court seems likely to rule on the appeal in 2009. What do they think of what the future holds? Says McQuillan, “We look forward to the Supreme Court making the right decision... I’d be kind of disappointed if they didn’t. ... But it’s not a big deal. There’s always California or Massachusetts. It’s not like we’d become unmarried.”

In the meantime the two do have something else to celebrate besides their distinction as the first and sole same-sex couple to enjoy marriage equality in the Hawkeye State: it's also their first anniversary! Read more about them in The Des Moines Register article out today. Perhaps with the next Iowa Supreme Court ruling, others in that state will be able to enjoy the marriage equality Tim and Sean do.

Someone You Love is Gay

Be sure to check out the new video ad: Someone You Love is Gay!

Produced by Maryland's PFLAG Columbia- Howard County chapter, the ad campaign willsoon be featured on local area buses this September. The video will also be featured as public service announcement on Comcast's Bravo Channel.

Looking for Common Ground

This comes to us from senior field and policy coordinator Kim Jones. She shares with us her thoughts on an op-ed, Gay Marriage and the Black Vote, that appeared recently in The Los Angeles Times...

At PFLAG National, we do a lot of education about the strengths of every culture and how we can work together in the GLBT movement. We recognize each culture plays a part in contributing to the progressive strides we have made for the GLBT community, as well as to contributing to the tactics that hold our movement back. This article reflects there is a very even national distribution of those for marriage equality and those against marriage equality, regardless of race or ethnicity. Every culture has its civil rights leaders and those who are less supportive of equality. Let us look for commonalities and ways we can encourage our families and friends or every race and ethnicity to be civil rights leaders this election year.

As we consider marriage, voting, and diverse racial and ethnic groups, let us also consider what ties marriage to other civil rights. Marriage is critical this year, especially in California, but we need to be ever-mindful of the many facets in the struggle for equality.

Read Gay Marriage and the Black Vote.

-Kim Jones

Take the Time to Send Your Very Best to Hallmark

Looking for a way to move equality forward today? Be sure to thank Hallmark for their same-sex wedding cards...

Looking for a way to move equality forward today? Be sure to thank Hallmark for their same-sex wedding cards...

As many of you have read, and some posted to PFLAGall, Hallmark has begun producing a fantastic line of congratulations cards for same-sex couples who have gotten married. Unfortunately, organizations like the American Family Association are up in arms about these new cards and calling Hallmark to complain.

PFLAG National sent out an action alert today asking members to call Hallmark and let them know how supportive we are of these new cards. You can access our action alert at http://capwiz.com/pflag/issues/alert/?alertid=11852661.

PFLAGers across the country are taking our call to action a step further. Annette from Indianapolis, Indiana bought a thank you card from a Hallmark store and sent it to the Chairman of hall mark at:

Donald J. Hall, Chairman
Hallmark Cards
2501 McGee Trafficway
Kansas City, MO 64108

Ann in Lake Peekskill, NY forwarded the action alert to her Unitarian Universalist fellowship and to the local gay straight alliance. Thank you Ann! Several people have emailed Hallmark. If you are interested in emailing please contact Hallmark's customer service. As always, please remember to be friendly and keep with a pro-family message.

Thank you to everyone who has called or emailed Hallmark so far!

-Elizabeth Hampton Brown

Oregon PFLAGers Launch State's First African-American Chapter

Here's some exciting news from our Oregon State Council on the formation of a new chapter...

PFLAG, Oregon State Council, PFLAG Portland, Unity Project of Oregon (UPO) and Basic Rights Oregon (BRO) will establish the first Black/ African- American chapter in Oregon. This will be PFLAG Oregon State Council’s first ever paid position made possible through the support of the McKenzie River Gathering Foundation, PFLAG National’s Families of Color outreach initiative and the Equity Foundation.

“By building an African American/Black PFLAG chapter, we at PFLAG and UPO plan to support the leadership of the African American community to create a safe space where the unique experiences of families and allies with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender loved ones can be addressed,” states Teri Noble, PFLAG Oregon State Council Coordinator.

The Oregon State Council is also excited to announce the hire of community organizer Inger McDowell:

Inger comes to this position with excellent credentials including five years as a community organizer for a statewide coalition in Nevada, where she helped with the formation of gay/straight alliances, held a position for two years on the board of the only GLBTQ organization in Reno, Nevada, and has over two years working here in Portland with the American Federation of Teachers Healthcare Division and the Service Employees International Union.

“We couldn’t be more excited to have Inger on board for this ground-breaking work,” says Noble.

PFLAG Comes to Mississippi: September 24

PFLAG's communications coordinator, Adam Ratliff, and I will be traveling to the University of Mississippi on September 24 for a first-of-its-kind GLBT Town Hall Discussion ahead of the September 26 presidential debate in the state. We'll be on the ground, with spokespeople from groups like GLSEN, GLAAD, the Equality Federation, the National Black Justice Coalition and the ACLU, and taking part in a Wednesday evening panel discussion on important issues facing our community in November.

PFLAG's presentation will focus on critical ballot battles - in states like Florida, Arkansas, California, Arizona and Montgomery County, Maryland - facing our families in November. The September 24 event is being organized and hosted by the University's gay-straight alliance.

Check back here soon for more details on this important event. And if you're a PFLAG supporter in Mississippi, mark your calendars and plan to join us on September 24!

A Heroine Passes

The entire LGBT community, and PFLAG family, are mourning the loss of Del Martin (pictured, with her wife Phyllis Lyon), who passed away today at the age of 87.

Del and Phyllis lifted the hearts of Americans, again and again, as they led the fight for marriage equality in California and the nation. But, in fact, their heroism began long before - in 1955 - when they, along with six other pioneering women, founded the Daughters of Bilitis in San Francisco. Their organization was the first in the country to advocate for the civil rights and full equality of lesbians.

Earlier this year, Del and Phyllis made history once more, as one of the couples who challenged California's ban on marriage equality and won an historic victory for same-sex couples. They were the first couple to wed in San Francisco, and for many LGBT Americans and their families, they were truly the "first couple" of the movement for marriage.

A public memorial will be planned in the next few weeks, and in lieu of flowers, a gift can be made to honor Del's life, and her fighting spirit, to the National Center for Lesbian Rights' 'No On 8' PAC. Contributions will be used to fight attempts to roll back the historic victory that Del, and Phyllis, gave us all.

Keeping the Spotlight On

Today's Ithaca Journal includes an editorial - following up on a story earlier in the week - offering support for Kathy Gilleran's seach for her son, Aeryn.

PFLAG first reported on Kathy's quest to learn the truth about her son's disappearance weeks ago, and since then the media and public have finally stepped up to the plate and given the case the attention it deserves.

"The entire episode seems to run counter to how we believe investigations are routinely carried out in the United States under similar circumstances," the Journal editorial board writes today, adding that "Public pressure, especially when applied to politicians in cases like this, serves many a purpose, including keeping the spotlight on Aeryn Gilleran's disappearance when age will continue to make the case get colder and colder."

All of us at PFLAG will continue to stand with Kathy. And we're grateful that others are standing with her, too.

Photo by Tim Ashmore/The Ithaca Journal

"You've Got to be Taught to Hate"

In follow up to Suzanne Greenfield's write up today about bullying and safe schools, I wanted to follow up with a similar topic - how kids learn to hate. Homophobia, the idea that it is "ok" to bully or harass LGBT people, is learned more often that not at home. And it doesn't take listening to a parent actively denounce LGBT people either.

One of the complaints I have heard frequently is how parents as well as teachers who witness anti-gay bullying and name-calling will turn a blind eye to it. This enables and encourages anti-gay harassment and violence. And in today's Baltimore Sun, Tim Smith's Teach Your Children Well examines the recent murder of a Baltimore 18-year old by his friends... simply for being suspected of being gay. And Smith poses a question: where did this hate come from?

Just days from graduating high school, Steven Parrish was stabbed and stomped to death by "friends" who feared he was gay. Smith notes, "Such incidents don't occur in a vacuum. Human beings don't come out of the womb despising homosexuality." They are taught by their peers, their community, their parents and in schools. A sea-change is needed in understanding the variety of human sexuality. Until that understanding and tolerance is taught and shown to young people, tragedies like Steven's will continue to happen.

The Transcendent Spirit of Stephanie Tubbs Jones

PFLAG issued the following statement this morning, in response to news reports that Fred Phelps, a virulent anti-gay bigot famous for public protests around the country, plans to picket funeral services for Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones (D-OH), who was a long-time champion of the LGBT community:

"Few public servants have embodied the greatest ideals of what it means to be a compassionate and loving person more than Stephanie Tubbs Jones. In her life, she always stood tall against hateful bigots like Fred Phelps and his ilk. Not even the darkest forces can tarnish the stunning legacy the Congresswoman leaves behind, or the bright light of hope that she always held to help light our way. The deplorable depravity of Fred Phelps will never be a match for the transcendent spirit of Stephanie Tubbs Jones."

Stepping Up & Stopping Trends

As the Safe Schools Coordinator for PFLAG, I hear from parents all across the country about the horrific bullying that so many young people endure. Taunting in school has become a disturbing trend in small schools and large, and its consequences were vividly illustrated in the recent, tragic shooting of Lawrence King in Oxnard, California. And, just like all other lessons we teach our children, there’s new information that stepping up and stopping bad behavior today can have long-term consequences throughout a young person’s life.

Blogger Diane Dimond writes at HuffingtonPost.com that a new study from Fight Crime: Invest in Kids shows an undeniable link between bullying today and criminal behavior tomorrow.

“[N]early 60 percent of boys whom researchers classified as bullies in grades 6-9 were convicted of at least one crime by the age of 24,” Dimond writes. “And get this, 40 percent of those same boys grew up to have three or more criminal convictions.”

The key to stopping the harassment and bullying, Dimond notes, lies with adults. Responding – to both the kids and their parents – can make all the difference in the world. Because young people rarely exhibit bullying behavior in front of their own parents, it’s up to others in the community to be pro-active in driving the message home.

“That means other adults have to step up at schools, camps, sporting events and youth activity centers,” Dimond writes. “We need to tell parents when their children are being bullies. And we should teach all kids to refuse to join in the taunting. It is abuse, pure and simple. Children can be scarred for life by a bully. And, once robbed of their self esteem they can suffer from mental and physical problems, drop out of school and even commit suicide.”

Of course, we know that gay, transgender, questioning and gender-variant young people are at an especially high risk of the worst consequences from bullying. The truth is that we need ot teach students, teachers and school personnel about empathy, and about the nature and specifics of the bullying that LGBT students face. And that is why we tell our stories, and share our experiences, with schools. We need to peel away the hostility and silence that surrounds our children.

It’s all about learning from example, and taking stands to stop trends.

As Dimond’s HuffingtonPost column reminds us, individuals from every walk of life can – and must – take steps to stop the cycle of bullying. The consequences we, and our kids, face by leaving bullying unchecked are clear and undeniable for everyone involved.

To read Dimond’s full write-up, click here. And for more information on what you can do to help with PFLAG’s safe schools work, email me at sgreenfield@pflag.org.

- Suzanne Greenfield

"The seconds, the thirds and the fourths . . . "

Mile-High Political Views, a blog covering this week's Democratic Convention from the LGBT perspective, has an interview today with Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin from Wisconsin, the first openly lesbian Representative elected to Congress. Baldwin, widely recognized as one of the leaders on LGBT issues in the House, will be speaking tonight in Denver, between 7 and 8pm (EST).

Ahead of tonight's speech, she sat down with Mile-High blogger Mark Segal.

"It’s great to achieve historic firsts, but there’s still work to be done until we achieve the seconds and the thirds and the fourths, until these achievements are commonplace and nobody thinks twice about them," Baldwin said in discussing her place in history. "We’ve come a long way. Now the hard work is to make this everyday news."

The Congresswoman said that, this evening, she'll be "focusing on women in the economy, and one of the issues closest to my heart — in fact the reason I first ran for office in the first place — creating a healthcare system that covers all Americans. I’m going to be addressing the particular importance of national healthcare and healthcare reform as it affects women and the economy."

To read Segal's full interview with Baldwin, click here.

Tell Governor Rendell to Abstain from Abstinence-Only Programs

PFLAG has learned that Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell (pictured) is considering reversing his position on the federal government’s failed abstinence-only-until-marriage program. Currently, Pennsylvania is one of 25 states that no longer participates in this harmful program, which ignores solid data and the best interests of our kids.

If you live in Pennsylvania, please urge Governor Rendell to put kids first, and continue to refuse forcing this dangerous agenda on our educators and families.

Please take some time to call the Governor’s office today at (717) 787-2500 and ask Governor Rendell to keep Pennsylvania, and your kids, out of Title V abstinence programs. It is imperative that you call or email today; reports indicate Rendell may enroll Pennsylvania in the abstinence-only program any day now.

When you call, please be sure to mention the following important points:

- Pennsylvania’s kids shouldn’t be subjected to harmful, disproven programs. Medical professionals and researchers agree that abstinence-only doesn’t work, and in fact contributes to higher levels of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. Pennsylvania’s kids shouldn’t be made to participate in a program that experts call harmful and counter-productive.

- By enrolling Pennsylvania in abstinence-only, Governor Rendell would be out-of-step with other states. A growing number of states – 25 and counting – have rejected abstinence-only and publicly committed to ensuring that teens receive solid, accurate information to make healthy, responsible decisions. Governor Rendell shouldn’t set Pennsylvania apart by making it the first state to support, and then back off from, that smart commitment.

- Our children deserve the facts, not right-wing rhetoric. Pennsylvanians support age-appropriate, medically accurate sex education, not the ideological, right-wing rhetoric that is the basis of abstinence-only education. Governor Rendell should stand up for Pennsylvania family values – of inclusion, education and common sense – and not bow down to conservative political forces with an agenda for our children.

You can also send Governor Rendell an email message, by clicking here.

Please take a moment, today, to stand up for Pennsylvania's kids, and urge the Governor not to back away from his smart decision to refuse anstinence-only funding and programs.

- J. Rhodes Perry

A Gay President One Day?

The more people in the professional world are out and open about their lives, the more inspiration they provide to LGBT youth in America. In essence, by being out and successful, they send a clear message that the next generation of LGBT youth can be, too. In the realm of politics the glass ceiling looks like it is evaporating, as Jared Polis recently because the first openly gay man to be elected to the House of Representatives.

But what about growing up to be President of the United States?

It's something many children dream about, but what are the prospects of one day having an openly gay president? According to a recent poll, over 60% of Americans would vote for an openly gay president.

Furthermore, the study shows that "67% of voters would support an openly-gay vice president, 69% would support a gay senator, and 71% would support a gay cabinet-level secretary."

With the continuing push for equality, the sky is increasingly becoming the limit for the next generation of LGBT leadership. Who knows... one day the president of your local Gay-Straight Alliance could be the President of the U.S.

Anti-Every Family

In at least one state in the union, the anti-gay forces seeking to roll-back rights for the LGBT community are equally happy to step on the liberties of other families, too, if that's what it takes to advance their anti-family agenda.

The Associated Press has reported that anti-family advocates in Arkansas have succeeded in getting a divisive, prejudicial measure on the November ballot that would not only ban adoption by lesbian and gay Arkansas residents . . . but by anyone of any sexual orientation who isn't (heterosexually) married.

"The measure would prohibit unmarried couples living together from fostering or adopting children, and Arkansas doesn't allow gays to marry or recognize gay marriages conducted elsewhere," the AP reports. The ballot initiative was organized in response to a recent Arkansas Supreme Court decision striking down a a statewide ban on adoption by same-sex couples.

Arkansas Attorney General Dustin McDaniel opposes the measure, and Arkansas Families First, a statewide coalition working to defeat the measure, has said it has strong grounds to challenge the measure's appearance on the ballot in court.

While anti-gay groups say they collected more than the 61,000 signatures needed to place the issue before voters, Arkansas Families First "found numerous signatures that should have been rejected by the state as invalid," AP says. The group is also planning to challenge the measure's constitutionality.

Should the measure make it to the November ballot, it is critical that Arkansas voters vote No on the measure. Too many children have waited too long for loving homes to have their dreams dashed by fringe anti-family activists who are out-of-step with the best interests of kids.

The forces pushing this hurtful measure aren't just anti-our families; they're anti-every family.

The LGBT 'Mile-High' View from Denver

Mile-High Political Views is a new blog launched by Mark Segal and Jason Villemez of Philadelphia Gay News to give up-to-the-minute reports from this week's Democratic Convention in Denver. Mark and Jason will be covering all of the LGBT happenings in the mile-high city and providing photo coverage (like this snapshot of the Pepsi Center) as events get underway.

Mark & Jason have already posted an interview with out Congressman Barney Frank (D-MA), notes on this afternoon's roll call and more.

For complete LGBT convention coverage, visit Mile-High Political Views online here.

And don't forget, for a sneak peek at Log Cabin Republicans' plans for next week's GOP convention in Minneapolis, visit Blog Cabin online.

The LGBT Community: Ready for Our Convention Close-Ups

This afternoon, the Democratic Party will kick off its 2008 convention in Denver, which will be followed, in short order, by the GOP's gathering in Minneapolis just a few days later. And this year, more than at any other time in political party history, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) voters, delegates and families are playing a significant, visible role.

In Denver, a record number of LGBT delegates are part of the Democratic faithful who will be officially nominating the party's presidential contender. And, as The New York Times reported on Saturday, LGBT blogs, like Pam's House Blend, are officially credentialed to cover the convention action. Other allied sites, such as The Bilerico Project, will also be reporting from Denver, ensuring that our community's issues don't go unnoticed, or unreported, as the festivities get under way.

Next week, the Log Cabin Republicans will also be on the gound in Minneapolis, where they'll be part of at least four events - including a September 2 Big Tent event and a September 4 salute to openly gay & lesbian delegates and elected officials - that are part of the group's work to increase visibility, acceptance and clout of the LGBT community within the GOP.

And here at the PFLAG blog, we'll keep you updated on any LGBT-related remarks, speeches or news from both conventions. If convention speakers talk about our issues, we'll have reactions here. And whenever our families are part of the conversation, we'll bring you that news, too. So in-between visits to Pam's House Blend, The Bilerico Project and Blog Cabin for convention coverage, be sure to check back here for updates, reactions and news, too. And for helpful insights into the conventions, their purpose and this year's schedules, click here.

Photo by David Scull/The New York Times

How Many Times Does it Take?

Today, The New York Times introduces us to New York gay couple Bob Morris and his husband, Ira. They were married in California, thus making their marriage legally recognized in New York State. Through them we get an inside view of the legal labyrinth of marriage equality laws. In their case, what happens if voters pass Proposition 8 in California this November?

"We'll marry each other as often as needed," writes Morris. Unfortunately this has been the reality for far too many committed couples. Take, for instance, the Matsumura family. Elly, daughter of proud PFLAG parents Molleen and Ken Matsumura, married her wife back in 2004 when San Francisco rolled out the red carpet for marriage equality... only to see their marriage invalidated. Ultimately, they were allowed to marry again when the California Supreme Court ruled in favor of equality this summer. But as with Bob and Ira, the specter of that right being taken away again seems all too real with a ballot initiative that would again nullify their nuptials.

How would the heterosexual community react if they had to fear their marriages could be undone with a vote or ruling? Or that by crossing state lines their marriage recognition vanished? This is the reality for LGBT Americans, and this is why we need full marriage equality. In the meantime, be sure to check out http://www.noonprop8.com/!

Kathy Gilleran at PFLAG Ithaca/Cortland

Kathy Gilleran (pictured), whose search for her son Aeryan has gained international media attention, will speak to the Ithaca/Cortland Chapter of PFLAG on Sunday, September 7 at 4pm.

Gilleran will speak with local chapter members about Aeryn's life, his disappearance in Vienna and the obstacles she has encountered in her quest to learn the truth about what happened.

You can also still submit questions for Kathy, as part of the PFLAG blog's Q & A with her, ahead of her appearance at our chapter. Just leave your questions, comments or words of support in the comments section. We'll pass those along to Kathy, and she'll be responding here on the blog.

For more information on Kathy's story, click here. And be sure to visit the Ithaca/Cortland chapter's webpage, online here.

A Speaker's Trophy Dad

Many Americans outside of Manhattan, or outside of "inside" politics, may not know who Christine Quinn is, but for countless LGBT Americans who aspire to public service, she is widely considered a heroine.

Quinn, 42, is the first openly lesbian Council Speaker in New York City history, elected to one of the most powerful positions in one of the most influential cities in America. Representing Greenwich Village, Chelsea and Hell’s Kitchen, Quinn has made a name for herself as a savvy, popular politico and is widely expected to run for Mayor of New York in 2009. Her career has been one shattered glass ceiling after another and she has toppled double obstacles - being both female and a lesbian - that few other politicians have successfully torn down.

In Monday's New York Times, reporter Michael Barbaro profiled Quinn, her expected city-wide race and one of her most valuable allies: Her 81-year-old dad, Lawrence.

Deemed "by the far the city's most visible political parent" by the Times, the elder Quinn has become a constant companion at his daughter's side.

"I like to think of myself as a trophy wife," Quinn, who is a practicing Catholic, and a Navy veteran of World War II, told the paper.

But it may be his daughter who has the trophy dad. As the Times reports, he has also become the very proud parent of his very out daughter . . . after, perhaps, a very short-lived hiccup.

The speaker's father "was severely tested when, in her mid-20s, Ms. Quinn told her father she was gay," Barbaro writes. “You should never say that again,” she once recalled him saying.

"But they worked through it," the paper continues, "and Mr. Quinn is now a reluctant but consistent supporter of gay causes. He regularly marches in the annual Gay Pride Parade, and, according to Ms. Quinn, he sometimes uses 'we' to speak of the gay community."

"Mr. Quinn has become close to Anthony Catullo, the father of Ms. Quinn’s partner. The two men, both military veterans and widowers, lounge together on the beach in New Jersey on summer weekends, where Ms. Quinn has a house."

And, according to Speaker Quinn, her father plans to stay close by, too. Though she maintains that she has not made a decision about a possible mayoral run next year, she did tell the Times that, "Whatever the next thing is, my father will be part of it."

To read the full profile of Speaker Quinn and her father, click here.

Photo by Fred R. Conrad for The New York Times.

Make Houses of Worship Truly Inclusive

From PFLAG executive director Jody Huckaby's latest op-ed, via the Progressive Media Project.

The doors to our houses of worship ought to be open to all. That includes lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans, who often feel that religion has been used to divide and conquer their families and their rights.

On Saturday night at the Saddleback Church forum, Pastor Rick Warren asked both candidates about their definition of marriage, and both said that it was between one man and one woman.

This felt like exclusion, if not discrimination, to many lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) Americans. And unfortunately, neither presidential candidate was asked about how they would welcome the LGBT community into the conversations about faith.

That’s too bad because history and progress are often made in the pews. The struggle for civil rights for blacks began largely in our churches — and was led largely by clergy — and was born out of a deep sense of religious conviction, rooted in the tradition of loving thy neighbor as thyself.

Today, however, LGBT Americans struggle to find the same passion for equality within some communities of faith.

Continue reading Jody's column at Progressive.org . . .

Making a Bigger Difference

As the nation gears up for the Democratic and Republican conventions in the coming weeks, 365Gay.com asked LGBT leaders and allies from around the country one challenging and thought-provoking question:

"[W]here would an openly gay or lesbian, bisexual or transgender appointee or elected official make the most difference during the next administration?"

Opinion makers from actress Rue McClanahan to entrepreneur Charlie Rounds weighed in.

PFLAG executive director Jody Huckaby also answered the query, calling on Americans to "Imagine the impact of having the first Secretary of Education who is also the parent of a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender school-aged child."

"In the wake of the tragic murder of Lawrence King - and surveys showing that LGBT young people are far more likely than their heterosexual peers to drop out of, or not excel in, school – having a prominent national advocate who understands the importance of setting safe schools goals could make all the difference in the world," he writes.

You can read Jody's full response here. And for other suggestions on LGBT leaders for the next administration, visit 365Gay.com online.

Tribal Equality

True marriage equality in Oregon?

Yes... if you are a member of the Native American Coquille tribe. The Oregon News explains:

"As a federally recognized sovereign nation, the tribe is not bound by the Oregon's Constitution. The tribe recently adopted a law that recognizes same-sex marriage and extends to gay and lesbian partners, at least one of whom must be a Coquille, all tribal benefits of marriage."

So, with the backing of their tribe, Kitzen Branting and her partner Jeni Branting [pictured] plan on getting married. But there could be rough legal waters ahead...

"Because the Coquilles have federal status, a marriage within the tribe would be federally recognized... And that would violate the Defense of Marriage Act, a law that says the federal government 'may not treat same-sex relationships as marriages for any purpose.' The federal government could challenge the Coquille law as a way of testing the limits of tribal independence..."

It's a wonderful thing to see tribal communities embracing all of their members as equal. And this is just one of so many examples of why the so-called "Defense of Marriage Act" needs to go!

Be sure to check out PFLAG's resources for the Native American community.

Jindal Will Leave Families Behind

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal (pictured) has announced that he will let the state's non-discrimination order, originally signed into law by his predecessor, Kathleen Blanco, to expire on Friday. The law bars state agencies and contractors from harassment and discrimination on the basis race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, national origin, political affiliation or disabilities.

"Jindal said Wednesday that discrimination is prohibited under state and federal laws and he doesn't want to create more special categories by executive order," the Associated Press reports. "He also said he worried it could cause problems with faith-based organizations' ability to contract with the state . . . "

"We're not going to renew it. That shouldn't come as a surprise," he said.

If not a surprise, it will certainly be a monumental disappointment to the countless Louisiana families who were protected by the executive order.

Jindal should be aware that no other Louisiana law - and certainly no federal law - protects LGBT Americans in the way he says. As a member of Congress, Jindal voted against the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would ban workplace discrimination. So while he told the AP that "we oppose discrimination," his actions fail to keep up with his words.

"I’d want to make sure we weren’t driving out faith-based providers from state government, from providing state services," Jindal said during his campaign against Blanco.

Apparently, however, he has no such worries about leaving families with LGBT loved ones behind.

If you are a Louisiana resident, click here to email Jindal and urge him to renew Louisiana's commitment to non-discrimination. It's the only pro-family thing to do.

Update: Join the conversation about Jindal's decision at Pam's House Blend, The Bilerico Project, The Michael-in-Norfolk blog, and at Lavender Newswire.

Debating Donnelly at the 'Blend'

Pam Spaulding, over at Pam's House Blend, has taken up the debate about Elaine Donnelly's latest defense of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," which we blogged about on Tuesday at HuffingtonPost.com.

"She forges on," Pam writes, "oblivious to the fact that her unhinged testimony managed to get a write up in the WaPo and a scorch by The Daily Show."

To join the debate, and weigh in with your own thoughts on Donnelly, "Don't Ask," and discrimination in the armed forces, click here.

One of the Biggest Hearts of the Heartland

The entire PFLAG family mourns the loss of Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones, one of our nation’s true champions of equality. From employment non-discrimination to the military to equality for bi-national couples, Congresswoman Jones was an ardent advocate for the dignity of every American. She never shirked from any civil rights battle, and never failed to stand up and give voice to those who often felt voiceless. Our thoughts and prayers are with Congresswoman Jones’ family. Congress, and our country, have lost one of the biggest hearts of the heartland.

Congresswoman Jones was a co-sponsor of fully inclusive legislation to protect lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans from workplace discrimination, as well as of Congressional bills to repeal the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law, expand the federal hate crimes statute to include sexual orientation and gender identity, and to treat same-sex couples equally under American immigration laws. First elected to Congress in 1998, Tubbs Jones was the first African-American woman to represent the state of Ohio. She passed away on Wednesday after suffering brain hemorrhaging caused by an aneurysm.

"Proud to Be The Daughter of Rachel Hervey"

Today we have a special guest posting by Becky Jorgeson, a past co-president of our Central Coast, CA chapter, on her amazing PFLAG mother (and a co-founder of the Central Coast Chapter)- Rachel Hervey...

I write this story about an amazing woman, my 81 year-old mother, Rachel Hervey, RN, who lives just outside of the sleepy little town of Santa Margarita on the Central Coast of California. Twenty five years ago, my brother came out to us as a gay man, and thus it all began. My mother decided to act. In 1991, she started up the Central Coast Chapter of PFLAG with another woman. Many times they were the only two at the meetings, though as the years went by, more and more folks joined until we were up to 45 members. My mother independently staffed our PFLAG hotline for seven years, taking calls at all times of the day or night, patiently listening to everyone who called, regardless of the issue. She began a Cal Trans Adopt-a-Highway clean up program in PFLAG's name, and for many years kept a section of the highway clean by herself. Today, my dad carries on the family tradition.

In 1992, my mom started the PFLAG information table downtown during our weekly Farmers' Market in San Luis Obispo on Thursday nights - we are a clearinghouse for those who visit. We provide free educational materials, and are there to support and advocate for our gay citizens on the Central Coast (and elsewhere). For years, she went downtown every Thursday night (except in the winter time), set up the table, worked it and took it down by herself.

She purchased seats at the Clark Center in Arroyo Grande (one of the local performing arts centers) in PFLAG's name; she made a donation to the William F. Clinton Library in Arkansas in the name of PFLAG and her family; for many years, she hired an artist to do a piece of work at our local i Madonnari street fair, which is now done by the chapter. She has contributed her time, energy and love in so many ways over the years that it's hard to keep track.

She was the one who kept after me for so long to "get into the schools..." I ended up serving as president of our chapter for almost four years running. We took our dog-and-pony show into the schools; middle schools, high schools, community colleges, our local university; we hit them all. We held meetings with superintendents, principals, PTAs, college residence halls advisors, the entire athletic department at Cal Poly, Rotary, Kiwanis, Lions, and churches... they all know our name. My sons used to think our last name was "PFLAG!"

She helped with fund raisers at the Madonna Inn and in people's homes. She showed movies at the Palm Theater and any other venue we could think of. We earned money to buy films on gay issues to put into the schools, earned money for materials to give out on the streets and buttons to sell to the young people who would wear them proudly - "We love our gay son," or "Proud to be the mother of a lesbian daughter!"

She has been the biggest advocate for PFLAG that we'll ever know. She regularly calls into the local radio talk show, writes letters to the editor, representatives in Congress, and the Senate. She even has the ability to call the White House once a week for free (which she does!) with her telephone long distance carrier. The woman is amazing. There is nothing she won't do to help protect the safety of her son, and gays and lesbians everywhere.

And she's the one who always encouraged us to help others...which we do. I couldn't be more proud of her if I tried.

Elaine Donnelly's Radical Cultural Change

Right-wing "military" activist Elaine Donnelly (pictured), fresh off of her critically disastrous appearance before the House Armed Services Committee, is again maligning the professionalism of our troops, the capabilites of military commanders and the common-sense of the American public.

In an August 14 op-ed in the Chicago Tribune, Donnelly makes her same old argument, wrapped up in new-sounding rhetoric, that straight troops simply won't tolerate gay colleagues and that asking them to do so would unravel the very seams which hold one of the world's most revered fighting forces together.

It is a "radical cultural change," she asserts, to ask professional people to simply get along and do the jobs they were hired to do.

Donnelly's missive, which dismisses any rational ideas about what a service member's priorities are inside a war zone, tries to make her argument, which is the equivalent of "gay foxhole panic," sound reasonable. It is not, and Donnelly is flat-out wrong in almost every way.

Continue reading 'Elaine Donnelly's Radical Cultural Change' at HuffingtonPost.com . . .

Photo by Rudy K. Photography

Update: Doctors Can Not Discriminate

This June we brought you the story of a lesbian couple in California who were denied treatment at a fertility clinic because of their sexual orientation. The couple sued, and today the California Supreme Court unanimously ruled that doctors can not refuse service to people for being gay.


PageOneQ has the complete story on Guadalupe Benítez (shown above left, with her family) who was denied treatment. In a victory for public health for all people in California, Benítez said, "It was an awful thing to go through... It was very painful — the fact that you have someone telling you they will not help you because of who you are, that they will deny your right to be a mother and have a family."

It's frightening to think there are some medical professionals who would deny care to someone simply because of who they are. This ruling will hopefully send a clear message that equal medical care is a fundamental right for everybody.

Meet the Neighbors

That's the premise behind a new, educational billboard campaign that is showing up on the Milwaukee skyline.

The Gay Neighbor campaign, funded by Cream City Foundation in Milwaukee, features local families and encourages locals to visit http://www.gayneighbor.org/ to learn more about the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community that has become a vibrant part of Milwaukee life.

The campaign website features the stories of families profiled on billboards . . . information on important issues impacting the LGBT community . . . and tips on ways to be supportive.

"The campaign hopes to dispel myths about gay couples and families and build more awareness about the realities of 'gay neighbors,'" Express Milwaukee reported. "We have common ground,” said Tim Clark, president of the Cream City Foundation. “We have families. We are positive, loving, happy people.”

To visit the campaign website - including snapshots of each billboard in the campaign - click here.

Taking Sides

Earlier this month, sadly, the Grossmont Union High School district became the first school district in California to support Proposition 8, which would enshrine marriage discrimination into a state that currently enjoys equality.

Following up on this story, today the Los Angeles Times ran an article about other school district boards electing to take sides, either for or against equality. One school board member interviewed was pro-equality:

"Katz-Lacabe, a computer security consultant in the San Francisco Bay Area suburb of San Leandro, strongly disagreed [with an opponent]. 'This amendment would essentially enshrine discrimination into the Constitution . . . a perfect example of state-sponsored discrimination,' he said."

Unfortunately there are several school board members out there who don't share these views, and want to encourage their communities to vote away marriage equality. And one has to ask, what kind of message does that send to students in the community?

When school members presume to speak for their communities in saying that LGBT people don't deserve the same privileges, it sends a clear message to young people: LGBT students are not equal, and bullying, harassment and unequal treatment are "O.K."

It's sad that in such a progressive state as California there are still people on school boards who are more concerned with giving people second-class citizenship than with doing what ought to be focused on: protecting and educating young people. It's time to stop sending anti-gay messages to young people, and start talking about what schools are doing to ensure they are safe learning environments for everybody.


Also, if you haven't seen it yet, here is a television ad from Let California Ring, a pro-marriage equality group. This funny, yet powerful, commercial that just might give people pause for thought on what marriage discrimination might feel like. "What if you couldn't marry the person you love?"

Gay Penguins and Guinea Pigs

First there were controversies over And Tango Makes Three, a children's book featuring the true story of two male penguins who adopt a penguin chick and make a family together. The adorable same-sex penguins ruffled more than a few feathers when a few parents wanted the book banned or restricted because they showed equality in a positive light.

A new controversy has started over another children's book featuring marriage equality. This time, it's Uncle Bobby's Wedding, featuring two same-sex guinea pigs who get married as seen through the eyes of the eponymous guinea pig's niece.

Dana over at Mombian has the scoop. Apparently a parent is upset in Douglas County, Colorado and thinks that children seeing a book depicting marriage equality is "inappropriate." Which begs the question, what about youth who have LGBT parents, LGBT loved ones (like the niece in the story), parents who want their children to have open minds and LGBT youth themselves? Banning books sends a chilling message to anyone who supports equality. Kudos to the director of the library, James LaRue, for insisting that the book stays! You can read his response here.

Q & A with Kathy Gilleran

Our reporting on Kathy Gilleran's search for her son, who disappeared in Austria in 2007, has moved many of our readers. We've received numerous emails, messages of support for Kathy, and many questions about the story, how you can help, and what happens now.

Kathy has asked PFLAG to express her gratitude for all our supporters have done to draw attention to her search for Aeryn. (Since our original report appeared, Kathy has been interviewed by Michelangelo Signorile, and covered by PageOneQ.) Your interest in Aeryn's story has helped capture the public's attention, and your support for this amazing mom has inspired her to keep searching for answers.

Later this week, the PFLAG blog and Bilerico will host a Q & A with Kathy. We have heard from many of you that you still have questions about the story, and Kathy has agreed to answer as many of your questions as possible.

Here's how it works: Leave a question for Kathy here in the comments section of this blog entry, and we'll select a sampling of those, send to her, and ask her to respond. Then, we'll post her answers here on the blog later in the week.

And for updates on Kathy's search for Aeryn, stay tuned here. We'll be posting the latest news and information about the story as more details come in . . . .

It's STILL Elementary . . . September on 'In the Life'

The September episode of In the Life, the award-winning PBS series examining LGBT issues, includes an update on one of the most talked-about LGBT film events of the past decade: It's Elementary, the ground-breaking film that examined LGBT issues in America's schools.

It's Elementary raised a storm of protest and dialogue when the cameras entered several grade schools 10 years ago and recorded 3rd & 4th graders challenging gay stereotypes . . . a decade later, now young adults, the students reflect on the experience in It's Still Elementary. And In the Life looks at kids' journey, the message behind the film and the more-relevant-than-ever issues posed by the original project.

In the Life's September episode, "A Festival of Film," airs on public television stations across the country. For local broadcast dates and times - and more about the series - visit the show's home on the web, at http://www.inthelifetv.org/. And for a free preview of the Elementary episode, click here.

MD Court Will Hear Transgender Law Case

According to Maryland's Daily Record, the state's Court of Appeals has agreed to hear a case involving a petition to have a measure in Montgomery County, Maryland, to have transgender protections stripped from county laws.

After the so-called "Citizens for Responsible Government" claimed they had enough signatures, their petition was challenged by Equality Maryland. Montgomery County Circuit Judge Robert A. Greenberg ruled Equality Maryland missed the deadline to challenge the referendum. Now, the Daily Record says, "The Court of Special Appeals... said it will hear the case Sept. 8, leaving sufficient time to render a decision before Election Day, Nov. 4."

We will keep you posted on these developments in Maryland. See also:
Religious Right Targets Transgender Community
Petition Challenge in Maryland

Partnership Law to Stay in Oregon

Good news from Oregon: a federal appeals court ruled yesterday that a challenge to Oregon's domestic partnership law did not obtain the required amount of signatures to appear of the upcoming November ballot.

Opponents of equality tried to gather enough signatures to create a referendum similar to the ballot initiative in California, Proposition 8. In effect, they wanted to roll back the partnership protection offered by the state of Oregon.

"This case was never necessarily about the signature-verification process. It was about overturning the domestic-partnership law, and that was a very real threat," said Jeana Frazzini, executive director of Basic Rights Oregon. "But I think there has been a real change to how people view fairness and equality." Read more about it in yesterday's Seattle Post-Intellegencer.

While opponents of equality could try and appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court, or "or ask for a review by the full 9th Circuit," it seems with the November elections swiftly approaching that at least in Oregon equality will not have to be put to a popular vote.

More Memories from Mexico

Yesterday Kim Jones, our Senior Field and Policy Coordinator, blogged about her experiences at the 2008 World Aids Conference in Mexico City. Here are some more photos she's shared with us from the conference...

PFLAG National President John Cepek with Irma Anhalt

John Cepek with openly gay Mexican pop singer Christian Sanchez

Char Cepek and John Cepek at the parents' march

The conference tabling staff

Kathy Gilleran - Today @ 4:30 on Signorile

Kathy Gilleran, the mother of Aeryn Gilleran, who has been missing in Vienna since October 2007, will be on today's episode of The Michelangelo Signorile Show on SiriusOutQ Radio. Kathy will be talking with Michelangelo about her search for her son, the homophobia she's encountered along the way, and how she's leading the effort to find out the truth about what happened in Austria.

You can tune in to hear Kathy today @ 4:30. Click here for a free trial membership, if you're not already a Sirius subscriber.

Trans Top Model

I haven't watched any episodes of Tyra Banks' show America's Next Top Model yet, but I might have to tune in now after reading this: the upcoming season will feature a trans woman as a contestant.

Isis, 22, hails from our backyard, Prince George's County, Maryland - right outside of Washington. The local former receptionist will be featured on the CW's program starting September 3. Isis tells US Magazine, "I'm here to follow my dreams."

It's refreshing to see a member of the trans community represented in the model competition. I'll be watching to see Isis [pictured, left - photo courtesy of CW] and the other models next month. Earlier this year I got pulled into following Project Runway (which gay designer Christian Siriano won last season), so I'm looking forward to another reality show that embraces all walks of like on the catwalk.

An Update on the Search for Aeryn

Yesterday, we reported, at HuffingtonPost.com, on Kathy Gilleran's search for her son, Aeryn, who was last seen in October 2007 in Vienna, Austria. Last night, local CBS affiliate WTVH updated the original story:

In the two weeks since we first brought you the heartbreaking story of a Cortland mother whose son disappeared in Vienna, Austria, we've been swamped with e-mails and phone calls. There is incredible interest in what happened to Aeryn Gilleran, and the encouraging response has meant the world to his mother, Kathy.

Gilleran's mind plays on a continual loop from October 31st, the day she received a phone call from her son's co-worker. Aeryn had disappeared. The 34 year-old worked for the United Nations in Vienna. Since he vanished, she's done everything in her power to find out what happened to her son, but with little help from Austrian police, hope is running out. "I want to be hopeful but I'm scared to be hopeful because I'm scared that as much as it hurts right now, that if I got my hopes up, that it would be a million times worse," said Gilleran.

The Austrian media has only made a painful situation more difficult. Since we first brought you the story, it's been picked up by an Austrian newspaper which painted this mother as a despairing housewife who's suing the police, and the paper said Aeryn was a mentally unstable gay man who committed suicide. Kathy Gilleran leaves a candle in the window, a symbolic light in the dark for Aeryn to find his way home. Until that day, it's a comfort to know she's not alone. "In knowing that perfect strangers are there, that just perfect strangers are out there, that's huge. That's really huge," said Gilleran.

For video of last night's story, click here.

Where's Aeryn? A Mother's Search for the Truth

Kathy Gilleran (pictured) is a mother on a mission: To find out the truth about what happened to her son.

Aeryn Gilleran, who was 34 at the time, disappeared in Vienna, in October 2007, while working for the United Nations International Development Organization (UNIDO). Alarmed by the news that her son was missing, Kathy traveled from her home in New York to Austria, in an attempt to work with police in the country, the U.S. State Department and other local and international agencies . . . in short, anyone who could help her find her son.

What Kathy found, instead, was a system that seemed more offended by Aeryn's sexual orientation than they were interested in helping to locate him.

"I spent six weeks [in Vienna], dealing with the Austrian police, who treated me not as a mother in shock and disbelief, but as a vile creature who had the audacity to ask them to help me find my gay son," Kathy wrote in an email to PFLAG. "According to the police, since my son was gay, it was obvious that he was emotionally unstable and, thus, must have committed suicide."

In fact, the callous response of local officials made it seem as if they were down-right refusing to take any serious, pro-active steps to find Kathy's son.

Continue reading Where's Aeryn? at HuffingtonPost.com . . .

Photo by Bob Ellis for The Cortland Standard.

Worldwide Support, Education and Advocacy: A Report from Mexico City's World AIDS Conference

Kim Jones, our Senior Field and Policy Coordinator, reports back from her trip (along with PFLAG National President John Cepek and his wife Char Cepek) to Mexico City for the World AIDS Conference...

The World AIDS Conference was by far, the largest event I have ever attended. It was incredibly moving to see thousands of people all gathered in one place, with a common goal, from such different backgrounds.

PFLAG worked in coalition with Family Acceptance Project, let by Caitlin Ryan (PhD social worker and researcher at the Cesar Chavez Institute and Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality) and Asociación Internacional De Familias Por La Diversidad Sexual, led by Irma Anhalt (Mexico City support group leader) and Luis Perelman (counselor and owner of the local progressive resource store El Armario Abierto). We met so many wonderful people involved in both these organizations and heard many moving stories of how families have played both positive and negative roles with in the lives of their loved ones with HIV/AIDS. I must express my deepest gratitude to everyone who made our networking zone possible.

The slogan for our coalition was “Family Acceptance and Support = Hope, Health and Well-Being.” We truly did we see how critical this slogan was throughout our involvement in the World AIDS Conference. In addition, we saw the truth of this slogan in attending the Mexico City support group hosted by Irma Anhalt and attended by over 70 people. The traditional importance of family in Latin American cultures brought person after person through Irma’s door on Tuesday evening to sit talk with each other, for as long as seven hours (4:30pm-11:30pm), about their loved ones and the coming out process.

John Cepek, Char Cepek, and I had the opportunity to host a smaller support group on Wednesday at the Networking Zone. People were moved to tears considering the importance of family in their lives and the impact families can have in both positive and negative ways. One mother named Rosa, who has become an activist after the death of her child due to AIDS, shared her story in the press conference and in our networking zone. She said, “I believe that my homophobia and the homophobia of my family contributed to my son contracting AIDS. If we had been more accepting, maybe he would be alive today.” Her story was powerful and rang true for many people listening.

Also on Wednesday, Caitlin Ryan presented her research findings about the impact of parental acceptance on risk behaviors in youth. Her study will be published next year. During her presentation she discussed the political responsibility of LGBT organizations. She shared that for such a long time, the term “family values” has been used by our political opponents as a reason to work against the movement. We need to reclaim the term “family values” as crucial part of our movement. Family acceptance plays such a critical role in the work that we do at PFLAG and other organizations that model the PFLAG support group globally.

PFLAGers Nila Marrone and Carmen Robello, leaders of the PFLAG chapter of New York for Families of Color and Allies, did a great job of discussing the work they do in their chapter and in mentoring chapters throughout the world. Nila gave an excellent presentation about the importance of recognizing the gender/sexuality spectrum in safe schools work. Safe schools are an excellent education and advocacy opportunity for many PFLAG chapters. Suzanne Greenfield, our Safe Schools Coordinator, consults with many chapters on finding these opportunities in their local schools.

Participating in the World AIDS Conference allowed those of us involved to be mindful, more than ever, of just how important all three of our mission areas--support, education, and advocacy--are to the success of building chapters and relationships with people who are new to PFLAG. We discussed our newest educational program, Straight for Equality, in interactions with so many progressive people who have the potential to be fabulous straight allies. Also, with such a large transgender audience, we were able to talk about PFLAG’s advocacy historically and today alongside the transgender community. As we were one of the few U.S. LGBT organizations in participation at the conference, many attendees expressed their appreciation for PFLAG’s involvement. People from all corners of the globe saw that PFLAGers do more than sit in a support circle. We leave our support circles to impact the world in very real ways.

-Kim Jones

Remembering, and Celebrating, Angie Zapata

Blogger, activist and all-around LGBT champion Donna Rose (pictured) has a post up at The Bilerico Project recounting Saturday's vigil for Angie Zapata, the young transgender woman who was the victim of a brutal hate crime, in July, in Colorado. Donna, who has also covered Zapata's murder and the subsequent investigation into her death at her own site, The DonnaBlog, writes movingly about the vigil and about celebrating the life of a vibrant young woman who was taken from us far too soon.

From Donna's Bilerico report:

On Saturday evening, August 9, a group of over 200 of us came together in Greeley, CO for an evening of celebrating Angie Zapata's life. And, less than a week after she would have turned nineteen, we grieved her death. We were a collection of young and old, trans and ally, local and visitor. We represented a number of organizations who have been involved in the investigation and in supporting the family, and we came as simply ourselves - representing nothing more than our own heartfelt sadness and needing to do something.

And, of course, there was the Zapata family. They were easy to spot in white T-shirts with Angie's photograph on it - her angel eyes buring brightly as though she was still with them. She had several young nieces and nephews who played, oblivious to the reason that we were all there together. She had immediate and extended family, and a group of friends. And her sister and mother were there. All were amazing.

The family gathered on the stage and Angie's sister read a statement and a poem. Many of us cried right along with them as they finished. Speaker after speaker spoke of the need to overcome hate, of the need to speak out against the dehumanizing efforts that lead to these kinds of tragedies. One speaker reminded the group, "Angie wasn't murdered because she was transgender. She was murdered because of someone else's transgender biases and discomforts."

To read Donna's full report, click here. There's also more coverage from the Denver CBS affiliate, online here.

Equality Coming to Iowa?

While politicians argue over their support or lack thereof for gay adoption rights and marriage equality, The Chicago Tribune gives us a more accessible window into the lives of a gay couple with kids in Sioux City, Iowa.

Being a committed gay couple in the Heartland is not without some bumps in the road, but overall their days reflect an "ordinary life filled with laundry, work on the house and lawn and dining at home on chicken and rice." With two kids, Chuck and Jason have their hands full!

Yet, last year there was a brief window in which gay couples were allowed to get married. A Polk County District court judge ruled in favor of marriage equality, and that decision is now on appeal to the state's Supreme Court. And Chuck and Jason have become a part of the court battle for equality - because they simply want the same protections for their family that their neighbors enjoy. From insurance to equality, civil unions "just don't cut it." Full equality is needed to make sure their family is legally and financially equal to other Iowan families.

Be sure to stay tuned for news about the Iowa Supreme Court case on marriage equality.

Change & Challenges in Communities of Faith

Across all denominations, LGBT people of faith are becoming more visible in their houses of worship, and working more than ever to make their congregations and communities of faith more welcoming. As our policy intern Christine Holcomb has pointed out here on the blog, some denominations are still struggling to fully open their doors and arms, yet others are making great strides, or being challenged by their own flock to take important steps toward embracing everyone.

Yesterday brought two stark examples of how far the LGBT community has come in some cases, and how much work is left to be done, in others.

In Norman, Oklahoma, our local PFLAG chapter was excited to announce on Monday that St. Stephen's United Methodist Church has joined the Reconciling Ministries Network, a group of LGBT-friendly congregations within the United Methodist denomination. St. Stephen's voted to change its Welcoming Statement to add gender identity and reached a unanimous decision to join the Network. In the past, St. Stephen's has marched with PFLAG Norman in the local pride parade and many congregants are actively involved with the chapter.

Yet, as our families in Norman celebrate the news from St. Stephens, yesterday also brought a reminder of how important it is to educate other houses of worship about including us.

In Salt Lake City, Affirmation, the national organization representing LGBT Mormons, showed up for a planned meeting with the Mormon church . . . only to find themselves the only ones to show up. Church officials, who agreed to the meeting in February, backed out. The group has attempted to meet with church leaders for 31 years.

On Top Magazine reported yesterday that, "Affirmation officials released to the public what they had hoped to have discussed with the LDS – a request for an affirming statement by the LDS on homosexuality at their next general conference, to have a prominent female leader tell mothers a child's homosexuality is not their fault and does not require curing, a request for a meeting with President Monson, extend an invitation for Monson to speak at the next Affirmation conference, and the possibility of jointly developing gay & lesbian training materials for LDS clergy."

"Affirmation has undertaken the heroic task of challenging the church to live up to the principle of 'love thy neighbor as thyself', and church leaders should meet with them and take steps towards makings everyone feel welcome," PFLAG told the magazine.

That important work, we know, will continue as Affirmation works to educate its church leaders about our families and our faith. The church, in turn, should sit down with the group - with an open mind and open ears - and remember that each of us are called upon to 'love thy neighbor as thyself.'

For complete coverage of yesterday's Affirmation press conference, visit On Top Magazine online.

PFLAG Votes: 5 Fights We Must Win

Even though much of the press and attention surrounding the November elections has been focused on the race for the White House, there are five critical, state (and local) initiatives on ballots across the country that are immensely important to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community and our allies. Winning these ballot initiatives in November is critical.

Progressive Victory has put together a synopsis of all five fights, along with a history of each fight and more information on local and statewide organizations that working to turn out fair-minded voters in November.

The 5 key ballot battles are:

1. Arizona's Proposition 102, which would declare that, "Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Arizona."

2. The Arkansas Adoption and Foster Care Act, which would prevent unmarried individuals or couples who cohabit in the state from adopting children or caring for them as foster parents.

3. California's Proposition 8, which states that, "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

4. Florida's Amendment 2, which would modify the constitution to state that, "Inasmuch as arriage is the legal union of only one man and one woman as husband and wife, no other legal union that is treated as marriage or the substantial equivalent thereof shall be valid or recognized." The Florida amendment would forbid not only marriage, but also domestic partnership recognition for committed same-sex couples in the state.

5. The Montgomery County, Maryland ballot initiative that would repeal a measure that added gender identity to the county's existing civil rights law.

It is imperative that voters vote NO on the first four measures - and YES in Montgomery County, and stop these divisive attempts roll-back protections, rights and equality for LGBT families.

For more information on these initiatives, read Progressive Victory's full report online.

"Listening to God and Each Other"

Christine Holcomb, our Field and Policy Intern, continues her coverage of the recent developments in the Anglican Church concerning GLBT people...

On July 31st, 2008, bishops at the Lambeth Conference entertained the topic of human sexuality during the portion of the conference titled, “Listening to God and Each Other.” They continued the conversation on August 1 as well, although with more focus being placed on creating a covenant. It was definitely an emotional conversation for all bishops to be having and their mere engagement was demonstrative of their commitment- not to either side changing the other, but to both conservatives and liberals affecting each other. In the end, it seems that the Anglican community, much like any community of faith, has an interesting dilemma: how to solve human matters using a spiritual perspective or, or more specifically, whether or not to allow GLBT people to serve openly, in other locations than the Episcopal Church USA.

For many who are allies or members of the GLBT community this may seem to be a rather easy dilemma to solve. But, when you consider that the Archbishop of Canterbury [pictured, left] is doing everything he can to prevent schisms and model the Anglican community after the concept of unity, in which unity is attained not by erasing differences, but by embracing them, it is understandably a matter that will take longer to resolve than 3 days at a conference. It is a conversation that must and will continue.

So, despite admitted disappointment that in a conference that only happens every ten years there was no grand resolution or public acknowledgment affirming that for God to be heard, GLBT members and leaders are children of God whose voices must be heard too, they did take some positive steps forward. Beginning to develop a covenant is vital for the resolution of future problems rather than allowing the infamous “Anglican discussions” that were criticized throughout these particular hearings to continue. As for the current matter, regarding sexuality, dialogue will continue.

Despite all the praise I have for the Anglican Church undertaking a difficult task with grace, I also must draw attention to the fact that 1) if schisms occur in the church, it does not have to mean that the people/leaders are no longer in communion with each other 2) maybe unity (as described above) does not mean staying together at the expense of honoring God’s gifts in GLBT leaders, but rather how to relate to someone that is not in the “in group,” both within/without the church and within/without heterosexual norms. With this perspective, the Church may have more to learn from dealing with a schism under the concept of unity then prolonging what may be inevitable if ever a conversation will lead to resolution.

The Education of Darryl Rouson

Let's file this change of heart under "evolving" rather than "flip-flopping."

Florida State Representative Darryl Rouson once opposed adoption by gay couples (Florida is one of the last states in the union that discriminates against GLBT adoptions). But some soul-searching has changed all of that, according to The St. Petersburg Times.

Only two years ago Rouson made an appearance on WEDU's Florida This Week, where Rouson said: "I think it is wrong to allow adoptions of children by gay and lesbian couples. It sends a wrong message early to a child during formative years that's hard to overcome just by sitting down and talking to them. … I think lesbianism and homosexuality is morally wrong. … We need to go back to some morals of what used to be and keep things as simple as the Ten Commandments."

Yet these days he has taken a new and different view:

"I have become educated. I have evolved... When I heard those words and saw my demeanor, I was saddened that I was so condemning and cavalier about my fellow human beings. I am not God. Nor should I sit as God and condemn or judge any human... My words were harsh, divisive and painful. … I knew immediately in my gut that I had to correct that. For me, it was a humanitarian issue...

"In the ensuing time since the taping, I have forged relationships with individuals in that community, and these are individuals I genuinely like. They are good people. I have seen more vividly and paid more critical attention to the matter of children in the foster care system born to crack-addicted moms with dads in prison. Why should they languish in a cold system when they could be in loving households — same-sex households? The paramount interest is the love and welfare of the children.

"For me, it was not a theological or biological debate. It was not even a political one. It was just the right thing to apologize for causing pain and speaking in condemning words of a fellow human being. There was not any concern of losing this seat or winning this seat. If I lose, the worst case scenario is to go home to raise my five boys and make a ton of money practicing law. No, I didn't flip-flop. I evolved. It was a growth process."

I think this example shows all of us out there that educating people with our lives and telling our stories is one of the key ways to achieve equality. Every time we are open about our GLBT loved ones, or our experiences being GLBT or a straight ally, we help open the eyes of those around us. It happened to Darryl Rouson - and it can happen to anyone!

Traveling Light

This comes to us today from Jan Couchman, the president of our Dayton, OH chapter. She introduces us to the books of Katrina Kittle, a straight ally who has, along with her books providing tools for families, presented programs at area PFLAG chapters...

I just want to let everyone know about a great book that speaks to the gay and lesbian community. It's called Traveling Light by Katrina Kittle. It originally was published in 2000 but was re-released by a new publisher (HarperCollins) in June, 2008.

We had the author come to the Dayton PFLAG meeting and she was great. After that talk, she was invited to the Lima PFLAG chapter. The book has been really helpful to people--she talked about readers telling her they'd used it to help smooth the process of coming out to their families. Katrina talked about how frustrating it was that the original publisher never really targeted the book to gay readers the way she wanted them to. I think it's a wonderful, moving book that the entire gay community should know about and help promote.

Rev. Michael Castle, the pastor of Cross Creek Community Church (where Dayton's PFLAG meets) said, "They say that 'good literature is good theology.' And in that regard, Kittle's Traveling Light won't disappoint. Her story is powerful, moving, deeply spiritual and quite provocative in its connection to, and understanding of, the human experience." Check it out at www.katrinakittle.com or http://www.harpercollins.com/katrinakittle.

New York: 12th Safe Schools State?

The New York State Senate may be poised to make the Empire State the 12th in the country to adopt a comprehensive anti-bullying law that specifically addresses sexual orientation and gender identity.

According to The New York Times, the bill has been introduced in Senate, though it's unclear whether it will be debated, and voted on, anytime soon.

From the Times' report:

Legislation aimed at banning bullying in public schools, including harassment based on sexual orientation, has been quietly introduced in the State Senate. The legislation, which includes language protecting transgender students and teachers, has been a priority of advocates for gay and lesbian rights but was ignored for nearly a decade in the Senate.

Republicans introduced the bill this week, but no sponsor was listed. . . .

Senate Republicans could bring it to the floor at another session later in the month, but it was not clear if they would do so. However, it would be unusual to go to the trouble of introducing a bill in the off-season without an intention to pass it. . . .

The legislation would require training to help teachers recognize and respond to bullying and require schools to keep track of bullying cases, including incidents in which students are harassed for their sexual orientation. Similar bills have been passed in the Democrat-controlled Assembly several times.

If you are a New York resident, click here to find your Senator and urge them to push for passage of the bill, and make New York the latest in a growing number of states that are taking strong stand in favor of safe schools.

A Call for Nominations!

The following guest post is from Thomas Farmer, president of PFLAG's Winston-Salem chapter.

The Winston-Salem Chapter of PFLAG is proud to announces its 4th annual Kaleidoscope Awards season. And, we're requesting nominations from the community at large to recognize the contributions of allies to the local gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) community. Applications are available now and will be accepted through September 15, 2008.

Nominations are accepted in five categories, including the new Community Organization Award. The five categories are: Business; Education (formerly School); Faith Community; Individual; and the new category, Community Organization.

The Kaleidoscope Awards focus a spotlight on the powerful changes being made in all aspects of life by fair-minded allies, independently or within organizations, that recognize moving equality forward is the key to achieving justice for GLBT people.

This year's awards have been expanded so that a larger variety of remarkable individuals and organizations in Winston-Salem can be recognized and celebrated. With the addition of the Community Organization Award, PFLAG recognizes there are many civic and special interest organizations which are inclusive and advocate for the civil rights of GLBT people but did not fit into one of the other categories. Additionally, the re-named Education Award has been expanded to recognize those who work for change within the system. Individuals (students, educators, counselors and administrators) as well as educational groups or schools can be nominated for making schools a safer place with inspired learning for GLBT students.

We will recognize these outstanding allies at its fourth annual Kaleidoscope Awards Gala, appropriately held on National Coming Out Day, Saturday, October 11, 2008 at 7:30 p.m. at The Millennium Center in downtown Winston-Salem, NC. This year’s theme is Come out! Become Visible! Make Change! And we'll also celebrate PFLAG Winston-Salem’s 20th year in our community.

Applications are available online here and the submission deadline is September 15, 2008. Nominations can be submitted online, via email to info@pflagwinstonsalem.org or by mail to PFLAG Winston-Salem, PO Box 15477, Winston-Salem, NC 27106.

Breaking News: Judge Upholds Ballot Language

While there is still a battle ahead in California to make sure that marriage equality stays legal (remember Californians, "Vote No on Prop 8"), today a judge in Sacramento has ruled that the current language on the ballot can stay as-is, and hopefully this will influence people to vote in favor of equality.

The language, placed by California's Attorney General states on the ballot that Proposition 8 "Eliminates the Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry." Indeed it does, as the California Supreme Court has ruled that gay coupled in California do have a constitutional right to marry. Proponents of the proposition, who want to end marriage equality, despite their "one man, one woman" arguments, are afraid the language will reveal Proposition 8 for what it truly is - discrimination.

According to The Mercury News, "In his 8-page ruling, the judge said the title and summary is an 'accurate statement' of the proposition by saying it would eliminate the right of gay and lesbian couples to marry."

PFLAG Votes: A First Look at the '08 Platforms

As November draws ever closer, political parties both major and minor are beginning to outline their visions for the country as part of their party platforms. Every four years, ahead of their nominating conventions, the parties outline their big picture political visions for the direction of the country, the priorites for the next four years and the principles they choose to guide them through the legislative process.

This year, both the Democratic and Republican parties invited members of the public to participate in the platform process. Party supporters from across the country were invited to weigh in with their thoughts and ideas as the country's two largest political parties put together their vision. It was the first time, in fact, that those who were not "party insiders" were encouraged to participate in the process, and the results are now beginning to emerge.

This morning, the Democratic Party released its draft 2008 platform, including some broad, and some specific, LGBT positions.

The party's draft platform states that "Democrats will fight to end discrimination based on race, sex, ethnicity, national origin, language, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, age and disability in every corner of our country, because that's the America we believe in." It goes on to note that, "We will enact a comprehensive bipartisan employment non-discrimination act. We oppose the Defense of Marriage Act and all attempts to use this issue to divide us."

And, earlier in the document, the party calls for repeal of the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" ban on gay troops, writing that, "We will also put national security above divisive politics. More than 10,000 service men and women have been discharged on the basis of sexual orientation since the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy was implemented, at a cost of over $360 million. Many of those forced out had special skills in high demand, such as translators, engineers and pilots. At a time when the military is having a tough time recruiting and retaining troops, it is wrong to deny our country the service of brave, qualified people. We support the repeal of 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' and the implementation of policies to allow qualified men and women to serve openly regardless of sexual orientation."

The party's platform has called for repeal of the law before, and it's a welcome position to see in the draft document, as is the language emphasizing a commitment to equal opportunity and non-discrimination.

And though Republicans have not yet released their platform, another, smaller, party has, and also includes important language for LGBT Americans, their families and allies in its document.

The Green Party of the United States, which has nominated former Georgia Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney as its presidential nominee, released its platform over a week ago, and it includes specific language endorsing non-discrimination and marriage equality.

In a stand-alone platform section titled Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity, the Green Party "affirms the rights of all individuals to freely choose intimate partners, regardless of their sex, gender, or sexual orientation," and goes on to say that "We support the recognition of equal rights of persons gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender to housing, jobs, civil marriage, medical benefits, child custody, and in all areas of life provided to all other citizens."

The party's platform also includes specific language calling for equality for transgender and gender-variant people. "We support the right of all persons to self-determination with regard to gender identity and sex. We therefore support the right of intersex and transgender individuals to be free from coercion and involuntary assignment of gender or sex. We support access to medical and surgical treatment for assignment or reassignment of gender or sex, based on informed consent," the platform says.

As we head towards the November elections, it's important to know if America's political parties and candidates will begin to address the needs, and equality, of the LGBT community. And it's important, too, that voters are well-educated about the issues, and the candidates' stances, before they head to the polls on November.

Check back here at the PFLAG blog for more insights as we continue our get-out-the-vote effort, including reports on the Republican and Libertarian party platforms, coming soon. (In the meantime, weigh in on the platform debate at Pam's House Blend, too.)

And remember, on November 4, to Listen to Your Parents (For Once)!: Vote.

Intolerance is a National Problem

(Rev. Gordon Gibson, Photo courtesy Bay Area Reporter / Jane Philomen Cleland)

Not one to blame the prevailing conservative culture of his hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee, Reverend Gordon Gibson says that hate and intolerance of GLBT people is a nationwide problem that needs to be addressed.

And he has a perspective to know: Gibson is a survivor of the Unitarian Universalist church shooting that happened last month in Knoxville. The Reverend sat down to talk with the Bay Area Reporter about how certain national-level media outlets need to hold themselves accountable for spreading fear and intolerance. Pointing out that the South "has never been monolithically conservative," he feels the alleged shooter "tapped into a national intolerance broadcast on the popular news programs as an outlet for his personal frustrations."

What are your thoughts on what drove someone to murder in a church that opened it's arms to GLBT people (and PFLAG meetings)? Be sure to leave your comments in the comment section below.

In Memoriam: Ken Baker

Last week, Ken Baker, founder of Equality Alabama, passed away. But the legacy he's left in Alabama lives on. His house has sevred as the meeting place for the GLBT community - including PFLAG.

Read Forging Ahead - "Civil Rights Group Forges On Without Founder" in The Montgomery Advertiser.

PFLAG Montgomery chapter co-president Carol Shaw was excited to see such extensive coverage of a story about Equality Alabama and local GLBT work in this Sunday’s Montgomery Advertiser. Carol and co-president Becky Duffy were interviewed for two hours for this extensive piece. PFLAG is mentioned and Carol is quoted in the article. As Carol says, they are “making some progress little by little.”

-Jamie Curtis

Officially More Afraid of Gays?

MSNBC's Keith Olbermann picks up on the recent irony, first pointed out by PFLAG in our HuffingtonPost blog, that the U.S. military is paying $150,000 to retain Arabic linguists who want to leave the service, and kicking out gay language experts who want to stay.

"The U.S. military, the presidential administration, and our nation as a whole are officially more afraid of American gays than of Middle East terrorists," he says. "That is insane."

Tonight @ 7: PFLAG on LOGO

Tune in tonight for CBS News on LOGO, beginning at 7pm, as I join reporter Itay Hod for a conversation about the Army's six-figure rentention bonus . . . and the continued dismissal of LGBT troops under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." We'll be discussing the military's new $150,000 service incentive and the 60 Arabic linguists who have been fired for being gay.

For more information on CBS News on LOGO, click here.

The Time of Separatism is Over

Deb Press is the co-founder of PFLAG Sandusky/Firelands in Ohio. She was asked to speak at a celebration of the First Women's Rights Convention, held in 1848 at Seneca Falls, in July. This is her speech.

What a joyful day. I am privileged to be a part of this beautiful gathering. And I celebrate that We are one. Today we stand together under one banner. The time of separatism is over.

We, like Lucretia Mott and Frederick Douglass are male and female. But we are also transgender. Today our gathering is multi-racial...black and white and Latino and Asian and all the mixtures possible. On that July day in 1848, the gathering was not so mixed. The condition and rights of women at that first Women's Rights Convention was primarily a fight for the vote by white women. Today, we are Catholic and Protestant and Pagan and Jewish and Quaker and Evangelical and Muslim and Buddhist and Agnostic and Atheist too. Today we are from many classes, rich and poor alike. Today we hold many job titles, and in these difficult economic times, many of us are without gainful employment. Many women are nickeled and dimed to death working 2 and 3 part-time, low paying jobs at minimum wage trying to support their families.

As I look around today I see we are old and young. Today we are single and married and widowed and divorced and separated and because there is no right to legally marry for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and those questioning their sexuality, we have a category called, "partnered" or "with a significant other." We are Republican and Democratic and Independent. Are there any Abolitionists in the crowd today? We are one.

Today we stand together under one banner. The time of separatism is over.

As a lesbian woman during the 1970s I felt that The Equal Rights Movement was primarily a straight woman's fight. Many of my lesbian sisters worked hard for the cause, but there was a fear that the day could be lost if women were seen as man-haters or too butch. The fear was strong and the separatism was hurtful. I remember feeling like Sojourner Truth who so eloquently asked, "Ain't I a Woman too?"

We are one. Today we stand together under one banner. The time of separatism is over.

In 1972 Jeanne Manford started an international movement when she marched with her son Mortie in New York's Gay Pride Parade. Enraged that her son had been beaten at a gay rights protest two months before while police did nothing, she carried a sign at the Pride march that said, "Parents of Gays: Unite in Support of Our Children". After many gay and lesbian people ran up to Jeanne during the parade and begged her to talk to their parents, she decided to begin a support group. The first formal meeting took place in March 1973 at a local church. 36 years later, Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians And Gays (PFLAG) has grown to include more than 500 chapters nationwide, over 200,000 members, supporters and affiliates, representing the largest chapter network in the struggle for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender rights.

Today, the mission of PFLAG is tri-fold: Support, Educate and Advocate. PFLAG is inclusive of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning people (people who haven't figured out what sexuality they are yet). The mission statement is clear that no legislation will be accepted unless it includes us all. PFLAG won't ever be accused of omitting any segment out of fear that it would hurt the cause. I am proud to be a co-founder of the Sandusky/Firelands Chapter of PFLAG. We gather every 3rd Sunday at the Frost Center in Osborn Park. All are welcome. Next year we will celebrate our 10th anniversary.

I have marched in many gay pride parades. The biggest round of applause always goes up for the PFLAG contingents. You see, not all mom's and dad's are accepting of their GLBT children. But PFLAG gives us hope. PFLAG offers a safe space. No longer do GLBTQ people have to feel abandoned or rejected. At PFLAG We are one. Today We stand together under one banner. The time of separatism is over.

But, the work isn't done. Yes, women have come along way, but lesbians and gays and bisexual and transgender people are not yet equal. I can not legally marry in Ohio, or most states. There are no laws protecting partners in times of sickness or upon death. I can be fired from a job because of my sexual orientation. While I am pretty out, my neighbors don't know I am lesbian. I don't think they know. Fear does continue.

Judy Shephard has become a spokesperson for PFLAG. Judy is the mother of Mathew, the young man from Laramie WY, who was brutally beaten and hung on a fence post, left to die alone. How can we still tolerate hatred and bigotry? Let us remember her words:

"Every parent dreads the telephone call in the middle of the night. Our lives were changed forever by that phone call; we awakened to the realities of intolerance. We will not give up until every family can avoid getting that late night phone call. I owe that to my son. And that's why PFLAG is so important - because, together, we are working towards a safer world."

And so I say, "We are one." Today we stand together under one banner. The time of separatism is over.

Equality on Ice, and the Future of the "Gayborhood"

Two stories today that are worth a read. First, from the "Land Down Under" comes the story of a Cinderella on Ice production...with a twist. The show features a gay male couple. And this has some groups up in arms such as the Australian Families Association, who said "We need to protect our children. They don't need to grow up any quicker." I imagine we'd hear the same tired arguments from the American Family Association if the show were here in the States. Of course this rhetoric entirely dismisses the millions of children of GLBT parents, as well as GLBT youth themselves. Why not let all young people see positive role-models in the arts and entertainment? Because it might actually teach young people that everyone is equal?

In another story out today, Gay.com takes a look at the changing demographics of the "gayborhood." While most large American cities have a center of the GLBT community, things are slowly changing. I can attest that here in Washington, D.C., our hot spot - the legendary Dupont Circle, has slowly gentrified and taken on a different flavor. It still serves as an epicenter of gay nightlife, but I increasingly see GLBT people living in neighborhoods further away.

"Thirty years ago, if I lived in the Midwest and I was gay, my thought was I would go to San Francisco or New York," says Gary Gates, a demographer for the Williams Institute, a think tank at UCLA that specializes in sexual orientation and the law. "Now, a person can go to Kansas City and find a fairly active and open gay community."

I'm not sure if gay people are necessarily flocking to the suburbs as this piece claims. But overall it will be interesting to see, as GLBT people achieve more acceptance and equality, how that changes where and how we live.

She's Baaaack . . .

A few words of wisdom for Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern: Sometimes, silence is golden.

The Oklahoma City lawmaker, who infamously compared gays to terrorists . . . said she never said the things she said . . . and then toted her handgun into the state capitol when she forgot to remove it from her purse . . . is back again. And despite the sound counsel of her hometown paper, The Oklahoman, which urged "this one-trick pony to put her tiresome personal agenda aside and work to do something constructive," Sally just won't quit, and she's just as outrageous and offensive as ever.

On Tuesday, Kern showed up at the Cleveland County Republican Club and, according to On Top Magazine, "once again repeated her opposition to gay marriage and homosexuality."

She opened, the magazine reports, by saying she is a “cultural warrior for Judeo-Christian values.”

“I am not saying everyone has to be Christian; this is not a homogeneous nation,” Kern told the audience. “What you have to be is someone who believes in a Judeo-Christian ethics . . . "

“Not all lifestyles are equal; not all religions are equal,” she said. Then, just in case a tape recorder was whirring somewhere in the audience, she added, "Was I saying all people are not equal? Heavens no; we were all created equal.”

Apparently, Sally thinks all people might be equal, but neither their faith nor, in some cases, their families, qualify as the same.

That might come as a surprise to some of Kern's constituents, including the state's largest LGBT community, which resides in her very own district. Or to the many people in Oklahoma City who are people of faith . . . but, according to Sally, just not of the right kind of faithful ethics.

But is it ethical, as a public servant sworn to uphold the law, to create an entire second-class of citizenship based on religion or sexual orientation? Did Sally forget that her real job is supposed to be advancing the cause of liberty and justice for all? And what will Oklahoma City voters have to say about it all come November?

As On Top Magazine reminds us, "Kern is running for a third term against Democrat Ron Marlett, 59. Marlett has said he wants to represent everyone in the district 'equally with no discrimination as to race, religion, gender or sexual preference.'"

Of course, Sally's partly right: All people are created equal. But are all politicians, and one trick ponies, created equal too?

Update: You can discuss Kern's latest statements over at Pam's House Blend.

Short-Lived Justice

Joshua Collier is a nonprofit fundraiser in Dallas for an organization that works with homeless teenagers, many who identify as LGBT. An active member of the Dallas LGBT community, Collier is a member of the DFW Gay Professionals, marketing director for OUT TAKES Dallas and secretary for the Dallas Chapter of PFLAG, where he serves with his mother Kathy, who is co-president, and his father Gary, who is treasurer.

Several weeks ago, I wrote about the sense of justice I felt when the Dallas Police Department took the courageous step to file hate crimes charges against the two men who brutally beat a gay man in what is now being called Dallas’ worst anti-gay attack in recent memory. Unfortunately, that sense of justice has been short lived.

Prosecutors have chosen not to pursue the hate crimes charges in this case. I have met this decision with a feeling of mixed emotions. On one side of the argument, I feel extremely let down by those handling this case. Justice is not being served and the LGBT community is once again being marginalized by the legal system. While this angers me, my analytical brain can understand the choice made by the prosecution.

Under Texas’ statute, a hate crimes finding by a jury means that the degree of a crime is increased by one level, but only if it’s a second- or third-degree felony. If the crime is already a first-degree felony, as it is in this case, the degree and punishment cannot be increased. This means the prosecution gains nothing except for an additional burden of proof at trial. If this additional burden of proof is not met, then the perpetrators could be released without any repercussions for their barbarian actions.

The question then becomes whether the risk of the attackers’ freedom is worth nothing more than a potential psychological victory for the LGBT community, since the punishment cannot be increased. We find ourselves in a hard-to-win situation. According to the Texas Department of Public Safety, thousands of crimes have been classified as hate crimes by law enforcement agencies since the institution of the James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Act in 2001. But once these crimes went to trial, only nine have been prosecuted as a hate crime and only one resulted in a successful conviction, according to Equality Texas.

If thousands of hate crimes have been reported with so few actually being tried as hate crimes, it leads me to ask, “Is the hate crimes law working?” The obvious answer is no. If the law was put in place to curb bias-motivated crimes, then it should allow for a more severe punishment regardless of the charge’s degree.

The cynic in me questions further what the real intentions of law makers were when the James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Act was instituted with its flawed process. Was this giant loop hole not seen or was it precisely placed to maintain the status quo while quieting the public calling for change in the wake of a highly publicized hate crime 10 years ago? Have we all been duped?

I urge every Texan, especially every Dallasite, who believes in the protections of the James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Act to call or write your legislator regarding this seemingly inefficient law. We must ban together today with the same fervor as we did 10 years ago after the murders of James Byrd Jr. and Matthew Shepard because we still have not reached full inclusion and protection under the law.

Dad, Dad and Me...

"Annie Van Avery was 6 years old when her parents sat their two daughters down in their Minneapolis home to break the news. Mommy and Daddy wouldn't be together anymore because Daddy wanted to find his knight in shining armor..."

Today I came across a fascinating article in The Seattle Time's "Living" section about the large number of gay parents in Seattle...and life through the eyes of their children.

The Annie mentioned above is now 30, and looks back with fond memories of growing up with a gay father and a mother who later came out as a lesbian. The U.S. Census Bureau estimates that between one and ten million children have gay parents (of course, it would help if they counted legally partnered/married couples).

Children of GLBT parents are just as happy and successful as their peers with straight parents. If there is any drawback, it comes in the form of homophobic bullies at school. But overall, all of the children interviewed agreed that their families were just as stable and loving. One youth, Ryan, said, ""We don't see ourselves as different... It's just normal to us."

For additional resources for children of GLBT families, be sure to see PFLAG's resources and Children of Lesbians and Gays (COLAGE).

PFLAG on Michelangelo Signorile - Today @ 3:30

Tune in today at 3:30 EST, on Sirius OutQ Radio, as I join Michelangelo Signorile to talk about PFLAG's HuffingtonPost piece on the Army's $150,000 signing bonuses, the shortage of Arabic linguists and "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

The Michelangelo Signorile Show airs on Sirius Channel 109. Click here for a free 3-day pass to listen in as we discuss recruiting, retention and the military's ban on gay troops.

PFLAG Announces Winston-Salem Support Group for African-American Families

The Winston-Salem PFLAG Chapter has just announced a new African-American support group designed specifically for family members, friends, and straight allies of black gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) people as well as for African-American GLBT people.

“A support group for GLBT African Americans, their families, and friends is very much needed in this community. This is a large step in the right direction for PFLAG and I am hoping that it promotes awareness and acceptance in the African American community . . . around the issue of homophobia,” said TaMeicka Clear, board member and chairperson of PFLAG Winston-Salem’s African American outreach program, OUT Like Us.

The first support group meeting will be Monday, August 11 at 7:30 PM at the Southside Branch of the Forsyth County Public Library, located 3185 Buchanan Street. The topic at the first meeting is Does Your Mama Know? Telling the Kinfolk, and will address coming out issues within the African American Community.

The facilitator for the series will be Dr. Michelle Lewis, Associate Professor of Psychology at Winston-Salem State University.Dr. Lewis earned her doctorate from Howard University in Washington, DC and previously facilitated support groups at the Whitman-Walker Clinic, also in Washington, DC. She is a member of the American Psychological Association (APA) and is a published author.

“Generally speaking, research and outreach to LGBT persons of color is still limited," Dr. Lewis said. "I hope that PFLAG's establishment of this African American support group in Winston Salem will be the first of several more services to meet the needs of this population. It's my hope that the group will be a safe, comforting, and healing space for people to share what's been on their minds and hearts for quite some time."

For more information, visit PFLAG Winston-Salem online. And to discuss the chapter's new outreach efforts to the African-American community, visit Pam's House Blend online.

A Six-Figure Solution Missing One Common-Sense Addition

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but the picture on the ground in Iraq is quickly making military personnel who can translate Arabic priceless.

This morning's Christian Science Monitor reports that the Army is preparing to offer a staggering $150,000 retention bonus to service members who are proficient in Arabic, "in reflection of how critical it has become for the US military to retain native language and cultural know-how in its ranks." Indeed, as the war in Iraq goes on, and the military subsequently finds fewer and fewer people anxious for extended stays in the desert, retaining trained troops is becoming a critical centerpiece of many commanders' strategies. The supply of Arabic speakers just isn't keeping up with the demand created by ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

"The military's conventional language training program, the Defense Language Institute in Monterey, Calif., could not churn out enough American soldiers proficient in Arabic, Kurdish, Dari, Pashtu, and Farsi, and the military quickly turned to private contractors to fill the gap," reporter Gordon Lubold writes. "Numerous programs have sprouted up, including one at Fort Lewis, Wash., where soldiers are given a 10-month immersion program in language and culture."

The Army is taking almost every step imaginable - from six-figure bonuses to civilian interpreters in the warzone to recruitment campaigns targeting Arab-American communities - to beef up its language capability. Every step, that is, except one. Army officials have yet to tell Congress to dump the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" law that has resulted in the dismissal of more than 5 dozen Arabic speakers who were otherwise qualified and ready to serve.

Continue reading A Six-Figure Solution at HuffingtonPost.com . . .

Inside the Church in Knoxville

Michelangelo Signorile talks with Carla Lewis of the Tennessee Valley Universalist Unitarian Church about the recent shooting there. As we reported earlier, the gunman was reportedly upset, among other things, about the church's welcoming stance towards lesbians and gays. TVUUC hosted PFLAG Knoxville's monthly meetings as well.

Stop Blaming the Victim

Can we please, please stop blaming Larry King for his death?

Larry King didn't fire the gun at his head - another student, Brandon McInerney, did. But from the language in articles and op-eds, you might be led to believe his gender non-conformity somehow brought his murder on himself. Because it's "ok" for students to act out violently against GLBT students who are different. Boys will be boys.

At least that's the tone in Larry King's local newspaper, The Ventura County Star. Michael Mehas penned an op-ed that digs up the same tired "gay panic" argument we blogged about a few weeks ago when Newsweek published an article that also question whether Larry's "behavior" - wearing makeup, high heels - encouraged violence.

One argument that keeps popping up is that Larry's flirting with Brandon (among other boys) sent Brandon over the edge. It's pretty plain to see that Larry showed a great deal of courage, actually. Rather than cowering, Larry stood up to his bullies with the only weapon he had; himself. He forced his bullies to confront their own sexuality and homophobia. And even if that were not the case, even if Brandon truly did have feelings for Brandon, it just makes the case all that more sad.

We do such a disservice to Larry by excusing his murderer's action as somehow understandable because, after all, Larry was gay and wore makeup. It sounds so much like when rapists accuse their victims of "asking for it" by dressing provocatively. It doesn't make sense and it needs to stop.

A Milestone in the Fight to Keep Families Together

The Uniting American Families Act, a Congressional bill which would lift the ban on gay and lesbian Americans in committed relationships with foreign partners from sponsoring their partner for a green card, has reached a milestone step in its journey toward becoming law. Congresswoman Lucille Roybal-Allard (D-CA) became the 100th co-sponsor of the legislation on August 1st.

An estimated 40,000 committed same-sex binational couples in the United States are directly impacted by the ban on sponsoring partners. And, as Reuters recently reported, some same-sex couples have even been forced to consider moving out of the United States simply to keep their relationship intact. The UAFA would end those heart-wrenching decisions.

There's nothing pro-family, after all, about a law that tears families apart.

For more information on the Uniting American Families Act, visit Immigration Equality online. And to send a message to your lawmaker, encouraging them to support this critical legislation and help keep couples together, click here.

Changing Hearts & Minds . . . 11 Million Households at a Time

Former PFLAG president Samuel Thoron and his wife, Julia (pictured) have authored an extraordinarily powerful letter that is being mailed to 11 million households in California ahead of the November vote on Proposition 8, the initiative to roll-back marriage equality in the state and deny same-sex couples legal recognition under the law.

In the letter to California voters, Sam writes, in part, that,

"Forty-six years ago I married my college sweetheart, Julia. We raised three children -- two boys and one girl. The boys are married, with children of their own. Our daughter, Liz, a lesbian, can now also be married -- if she so chooses.

All we have ever wanted for our daughter is that she be treated with the same dignity and respect as her brothers – with the same freedoms and responsibilities as every other Californian.

My wife and I never treated our children differently, we never loved them any differently and now the law doesn't treat them differently, either.

Each of our children now has the same rights as the others, to choose the person to love, commit to and to marry."

All of us at PFLAG are enormously proud of Sam and Julia for their amazing work on the ground in California, and for their eloquent words on behalf of the LGBT community.

To read their full letter, click here. Then, if you're a California voter, sign the Vow to Vote No pledge and encourage your family, friends and neighbors to do the same.

"Equal Means Equal"

Living in New York with your partner and want to get married? Know a GLBT couple in Vermont who wants to tie the knot? No need to fly to the West Coast anymore; the much-anticipated repeal of out-of-state marriage bans for gay couples in Massachusetts has taken effect as of last Thursday!

As promised, Gov. Deval Patrick signed the bill. But with one special bonus: the bill included an emergency provision that would make it go into effect immediately. Now the Bay State joins the Golden State in offering full marriage equality to anyone in the U.S.

Governor Patrick had this to say in The Boston Herald:

“Equal means equal...In five years now, ... the sky has not fallen, the earth has not opened to swallow us all up, and more to the point, thousands and thousands of good people - contributing members of our society - are able to make free decisions about their personal future, and we ought to seek to affirm that every chance we can.”

Religious Right Targets Transgender Community

This morning's Washington Examiner includes a front-page story about the effort, in Montgomery County, Maryland, to roll back legal protections for the transgender community. Right-wing groups, the paper reports, are pushing a November ballot initiative to repeal a measure that prohibits discrimination against transgender people in housing, employment, public accommodations, and other services.

The effort, at least one right-wing activist organization admits, is being considered as "a template" for other, similar efforts across the country. Focus on the Family, and other groups, are waging similar battles in Colorado and Florida.

"Since Minnesota outlawed discrimination against transgender people in 1993, 11 other states and the District have followed suit, as did more than 90 cities and counties," the Examiner notes.

In fact, more and more Americans support efforts to protect transgender Americans from discrimination. But, as PFLAG pointed out to the paper, some activists are no doubt hoping to use the transgender community to bolster their own get-out-the-vote efforts.

"As the public becomes far more accepting of gays and lesbians, the religious right is looking for a new way to drive out their support base at election time, and they think this is going to be it,” PFLAG said.

To read the full article from this morning's Examiner, click here. And for more on how fair-minded Marylanders are fighting the November initiative, visit Equality Maryland online.

Update: You can join the debate about this morning's Examiner article over at the Vigilance blog.

I'm Glad I Failed

Our friends at The Trevor Project have just launched a powerful new ad campaign aimed at decreasing the suicide rate among LGBT young people.

The I'm Glad I Failed campaign is in response to overwhelming evidence showing that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth are far more likely than their straight counterparts to attempt or commit suicide. "The campaign," Trevor Project executive director Charles Robbins wrote recently on Bilerico, "depicts gay youth with stories about how intolerance and harassment led them to attempt suicide, and how glad they are that those attempts failed because their lives have since changed for the better."

"It is tragic to know that suicide rates among LGBTQ youth are highest during the back-to-school season," Robbins writes. "Beginning a new school year in high school or college creates stress and difficulties for many young people, and struggling with sexual orientation issues can trigger additional challenges. That is precisely why we are launching the "I'm Glad I Failed" campaign this September to coincide with the start of the new school year, as well as National Suicide Prevention Week (Sept. 7 through 13, 2008)."

To learn more about the campaign, click here. And for Robbins' complete write-up about the motivation behind the ads, visit Bilerico online.

Going Public in Public School

(Photo courtesy Kate Lacey, The Village Voice)

On the heels of news about a victory for a gay-straight alliance (GSA) club in Florida this week, The Village Voice is profiling an "out" high school principal in Brooklyn, New York. Meet Michael Soet.

Standing in sharp contrast to the incident that occured in Columbia, South Carolina where the principle resigned rather than even preside at a school with a GSA, Principal Soet's bosses are just fine with him. It's one thing to have out GLBT students, quite another step forward to have an openly gay principal.

Says The Village Voice: "When Mr. Michael first decided to come out to his history students at Manhattan International High School several years ago, he wasn't sure what to expect. The city's international high schools cater exclusively to recent immigrants—students who have been in the U.S. for fewer than four years—and many of the kids come from countries where homosexuality is persecuted or illegal. Mr. Michael knew that most of them had never met someone who was openly gay and resolved that he would give his students the opportunity to have a serious conversation about his sexuality..."

And to think some schools still are having issues with GSAs or childrens' books about gay penguins! PFLAG continues to work for schools that are safe for all students...and where teachers and administrators can be themselves, too!

Huckaby Weds in California

Sunday was a magnificent day in Northern California as my partner and I attended the wedding of brother, Jason, and his partner of 21 years, Michael. Several of their family members and friends gathered under the large trees outside their hillside home overlooking the Pacific Ocean, the perfect setting for a beautiful ceremony which finally made legal in California their long time commitment to each other.

I gave a toast at their commitment ceremony two years earlier in that same spot, and I was reminded by Jason and Michael and some of Sunday’s guests of what I had said. My hope for them and everyone present in 2006 was that we would someday see the reality of marriage equality in California, so that Jason and Michael would have the full rights, benefits and responsibilities of marriage that the many straight married couples among the guests already have. After two years of much hard work, that toast became a reality!

We had a wonderful afternoon celebrating their marriage, and as things began to wind down, Jason asked me if I intended to marry Stephen some day. I said, “Well, we have achieved marriage equality in two states, now we have 48 states remaining, plus our own District of Columbia, so perhaps we’ll walk down the aisle when we have marriage equality in our own backyard.”

Of course, now we must hold on to marriage equality in California. While out on the west coast, I met with several chapter leaders to discuss how they are working to defeat Proposition 8. They and we at PFLAG National are all committed to fighting this anti-gay, anti-family and anti-community initiative. PFLAG is working in unison with the Equality for All Campaign and its many partners to keep marriage equality alive and well in California.

In doing so, we’ll ensure that Jason’s and Michael’s marriage, and that of thousands of other committed gay couples who have also married since June, will remain protected. Families and communities are much stronger because of marriage equality, so this is a fight we all must join, regardless of where we live. In keeping marriage equality in California, we give hope to the millions of couples across the nation who dream of the same for their relationships. Now is the time for all of us to work to defeat Prop 8. Click here to learn how today!

-Jody Huckaby, PFLAG Executive Director

Saluting Heather Gillman

Heather Gillman (pictured) is my kind of person. She stood up for a friend, challenged her Principal’s biased and homophobic response, and won.

Heather is a student at Ponce De Leon High School in the Florida panhandle. A fellow student was being teased for being a lesbian, and when the student went to the principal for help, he not only refused to intervene – he blamed and shamed her for being a lesbian, telling her “her lifestyle was against the Bible."

And when Heather and other students came to her defense and formed a Gay Pride (“GP”) movement and started wearing rainbow t-shirts and writing “GP” on their notebooks, the principal also tried to silence and punish them.

With the help of the ACLU, Heather successfully sued the school for violating her first amendment rights. She says she decided to bring the suit “Because I thought it was wrong that he was telling people that being gay or lesbian was going against the Bible or going down the wrong road. I didn't think that was – I didn't think he should be able to be pushing that on people.”

Thanks Heather! . . . Thanks for standing up for your rights, your friends' rights . . . and all of our rights.

- Suzanne Greenfield

Photo by Express Gay News